My mon mon Forever..

R.I.P Cameron Adam Tylers.

To dear mon mon,

*sighs* idk wht to say first but one thing funk it hurts lyk bitch..thousands of needles being strucked in my heart.like the entire world has come n crashed on me.my tears are not enough to show my sorrow.my lungs is being punched again n again with no mercy.idk it would b this hard than at the end i feel all numb, nothing, nada, NO SHIT FUNKIN FEELIN OF MINE n thats the most scary part.iam ripped off from any emotion.i just cant except what i just saw in chur bio.

This morning ems pmed me askin if chu were alright dat bish relly loves n cares about chu but her funkin ego..thnk to her i got close to chu..chu noe?!? Everyday she asks about chu from day one..chu mean so much to her but dat dip shit nvr made a funkin sound or move..always shy..askin me everytime wht to say n how to talk to chu..ik ems wont b sayin anythin anytime soon so again this time ill b sayin stuff to chu from her side..she really loves n cares about chu..chu mean alot to her jst lyk da rest of us..

Dis time she was again da first one to notice..she was like whts wrong with irha n her bio n she knew it was related to chu..i told her idk.. i jst woke up at dat moment so my brain wasnt functioning at all but 4 so many days i had dis guts feelin dat sumthin is wrong with chu or chu gone already n idk about it so i panicked n went to my pm n searched irha but chu were in da top most so i clicked n wht i saw in chur bio shocked me to my core..i couldnt hold my tears so i started da funkin water work as soon as i got out of my bed snitchy started askin if i had a bad dream, dayumm i so wish it was one but no this universe is cruel.i felt lyk deja vu cox last yr my grandma died whom i loved so much so i am da same mess i cant stop roomin here n der..from one room to another n my hand wont stop shaking out of its own accord n thinkin why do i lose ppl i love..n on top of it my sis wont shut her funkin mouth up askin wht dat dream was about..i yelled, i threw things..i wanted to shout n tell her to leave me da hell alone.dis is no funkin dream its reality n a sick one at dat..a very sick one.

Right now at dis moment i feel.....nothing......

The only thing that comes to my mind is dis dialogue"If this is love, I don't want it. Take it away, please! Why does it hurt so much?" dats wht Tauriel said but then again wht Thranduil said to her touches deep cox his only reply was "Because it was real." N ik mine was too..today i didnt lose chu infact i gained chu as entirely different mon mon da happy one, one who is goin to fly high n touch the sky, will b hugged by the warmth of sun, feel kisses of freash air..today is not the day of mourning but da day of celebration..its da day when chu will meet the love of chur life Blue its jst dat i have to change my postal service but the gud thing is my letters will reach chu directly no blake inbetween lolx..jst chu n me..i dont blame chur chowder frnds anymore cox ik why they werent cumin its lyk v all knew dat the storm is cumin n it did soon..when it was chur birthday i knew sumthin bad is goin on dats why i was panicking..chu noe at night i use to have these bad thoughts dat chu r gone already n idk about it n i use to get crazy..everyone knew this day is cumin soon..it showed da way they all were acting..my close connection to chu again indicated me ahead that chu will b sayin gudbye soon cox chur presence was being blur n again my intuition proved itself right but this time i regret it did..idk how i could feel chur presence n non presence everytime..its scary how iam connected to chu n alway will b..oh mon mon i love chu so funkin much..

Chu noe its been yrs since i left all religious acts n didnt step a foot to God's house not even when my mahmani (gandma died) but i guess from 2day onwards ill change dat..i want Him to take care of chu n i want 2 b da first one to send chu my msg n love idk wht afterlife is like but i do hav firm believe in existence of higher power..my mom says chu wait in a waiting room until everyone of us is present der so ik chu not goin anywhere cox sumday ill b joining chu too but on da right day n at the right time..till dan its goin to b oneway communication of me sendin chu my love every single day n chu will noe its me..it will b lyk dis i guess Cameron Adam Tylers you got a message from Brida Batool JogeXee..well i did a bit spellin mistake with my last name cox if i right it properly n if ppl google it then they will get to noe my family history which id want.. Yep google shows every funkin thing about my family history n about my grate-grandfathers so i guess this much info is enough for chu..ik chu like me tellin chu more about myself so its a gudbye present from me n i h8 my middle name but its Persia name given from my mother side so yeah i funkin have to keep it..

Hay,hay!! dont worry ill take care of all chur girls n try my best to nvr hurt dem n if they sad dan offer my shoulder to dem..if chu love them dan i love them too..

Chu will b missed so R.I.P..i pray chu end up in da best place n b happy..chu lucky dat chu have so many ppl left behind to pray for chu n talk gud things about chu not most ppl r blessed with dat..so no worries der r loads of blessing to cum up chur way including mine..i will love chu to no end even after da day i die.chu opened my eyes to new life n new ways of living n ill try to b da best person dat i can ever b jst for chu..

Loveeeeeee chuu my lil monkey who loves bananas n human pizza..xD

May God bless chur soul

DamnItsCam_ i love chu so funkin much..*hugs n kisses*

Ok writin it was funkin hard but today i wont b selfish n cry ill keep a smile on my face even if its as hard as drinkin poison..idk wht ill do after dis but wattpad is gloomy with out chu..ill b off..