My mon mon Forever..

iam sorry.

hay mon mon well 4th feb made it up to 4 months since chu gone.i wanted to write it sooner then later but my wifi had some other plans it usually does on chur monthly death anniversary  iam the same old me stuck up being miserable with out all chu guys especially chu.i kinna miss ems alot idk what happened but all ik is i miss her like f-in hell and iam so done making new friends same old same old tho i dont have much time to come online as well due to my SAT preparation n iam thinkin about dropping out of the present school i mean its good and all that but iam not happy i cant pretend anymore for the sake of others.my parents are against my decision and ik chu might be too but ill somehow find my way trust me i just need time and some peace to my mind.past few days i have done things which i really am not so proud of but what can i say things tempt chu so funkin much.the worst thing is when chu start getting confused about things present in chur life at that moment my friends say it will pass with time ill be alright but ik i wont its never ending story for me i need to get done with my past if i wont ill be jeopardizing my future again and i cant afford it any more.few days back we had our Olympiad i didnt take part even at my trainers per request but i did take part in cheer leading the reason for no part taking was cox i had my hand web pierced and chu wont believe this time i  did it on my own it was pretty easy but i took it off recently cox i became a bit uncomfortable with that and oh oh i had a dental piercing got done too it looks cute those are the two best things that happened to me so far

and i dip dyed my hair blue too it was sooo sexy hahaha now i tried green n iam loving it total rebell right xD .bs iam officially ben bowers stalker well didnt see that coming but damn i mean he is every girls dream guy.ik chu thinkin he is no Italian but still i can so drool on him *makes dreamy face* those abs tho *.*

hey do chu noe this guy back at our school which i got to know did existed just recently got up the stage and started describing slash making fun of me thinking he is looking so cool while doing that *makes annoyed face* and the entire hall started staring  at me me like iam some creep show i was sooo embarrassed and annoyed i wanted to throw bananas at him  the girl who was sitting beside me asked if he was talking about me i mean it was so bloody obvious but i denied it saying he is just talking trash tho he didnt specifically take my name just said this girl and started describing me -.- i like being low profile always did always will.today was inter-school picnic day but i didnt go for that ill just give chu one resaon= LAZY!! i didnt even go for spring festival and my friends were pissed off with me cox according to them they talk about me 24/7 with their families *whispers* they practically have no life so they brought their siblings and family members to meet with me but i wasnt there oh and one more good news i gave my mobile, ipod and other gadgets to my mom cox they were simply a distraction for me so yep i dont have them with me any more except for my laptop as ill be needing it to make n practice programs.i was literally abusing those online books i mean exceeding more then 100 books per month is crazy i sure fulfill that book rapist title handed over to me to a great extent.so i am trying to stop raping them the starting few days for me were hell it felt like i was a drug addict being denied  its drug and am stuck in rehab chu noe that feeling of suffocation,stuck in a tinny box with no air and no escape. i just like reading books cox it has happy ending which ill never have and i like reading it when i feel down which i do most of the times if not all the time.

recently i saw blake and queeny deactivated their accounts i was very sad its like when they were here i still had this feeling that iam still connected  to chu even if its through them and my feeling is an illusion but i cant help it. i want to talk to chu till i fall asleep with a goofy smile on my face, annoy chu and get annoyed in return with chur stupidity and deny chu the compliment of being a sexy ass, comfort chu when chu sad and let chu comfort me in return, fight with chu when i dont have anyone to fight with, make funny faces to chur corny jokes, ask for a hug when that certain someone lies to me, have those lame banana fight with chu, insert shocked emoji s when chu say something wise, blush when chu compliment my picture and keep saying its chur favorite, refresh the page again and again when chu say chu love me and deep in me heart i say ily2, oh and lets not start about that mighty fine ass of churs which all the girls wanted to tap lolx and that reminds me make all those girls run for the hills when they ask me 20 qst game about chu bs fight with chu when chu send all of them my way sayin rib jay noes better *whispers* well i sure do noe better but still chu still an ass xD...but all in all i miss my bud who stood by me like a back bone 

i love you so funkin much my lil mon mon..r.i.p