Daily Struggles Of Sis

Clueless (Just Thoughts)

They come in, they come out, they block, they unblock, they take advantage, they manipulate, they control, and NEVER hold accountability..... but who's to blame ???

You are, you're to blame for this mishap, because you didn't call it out from the beginning, now they're able to switch it up on you like you're the villain.... when in reality... it wasn't you, it was them.

We can sit and think about ways that we can fix ourselves to please these mfs , but it's still NEVER enough, because no matter how hard you try , to them we will ALWAYS be worthless, and not worth half of the time, that WE done put into them in the first place. Crazy because , THEY HIT US UP FIRST, then have some nerves to fuck over us like we some chopped liver .... and wonder why we go crazy....

It went from They, to You, to Us and We, but not as once did I mention me ...... I AM THE ONE TO BLAME, I put myself last trying to put them first, I gave too much of my all, and used too little of my brain, And I'm wondering why I'm laying here and in pain... while everyone else gets to move on and be happy.... I often wonder where's my happiness, where's my pot of Gold at the end the rainbow.... why must I spend time suffering... haven't I suffered enough, wasn't my teenage years, and childhood enough years of suffering??? From the weight gain to my anxiety and depression, I can't catch a break, and yet I still have the AUDACITY to have a smile on my face... like I ain't hurtin inside, but I gotta fake it right? I gotta pretend that the hurt , the lack of confidence, the lack of self worth I once had is still there, as if mfs didn't take a piece of that away, almost like I never had the feelings of suicide on the brain..... I got shit to live for, I got shit to do, I can't pick myself apart over old news ....

We fall apart , We breakdown , We cry, We cut, We Punch, We beg, We complain, We remanence , We compare.....

They laugh, They forget, They block, They touch, They feel, They move, They on to the next..... but I ?!!

I is another thing, I gotta lotsss of growing to do, I gotta encourage myself, I can do anything, I am more than sex, I am more than texts, I am a queen, I am unique, I gotta recover from trauma that made me....

(2:53 1/17/21