Spotlights

Flower Petals

IMPORTANT: I'm dedicating this chapter to @Sn0wy_The_Guinea_Pig, I just started talking to them recently and they are honestly amazing. This one's for you, my friend! <3  

Connor could feel his heart beating out of his chest. He currently sat in one of the many plastic chairs facing the stage. There were maybe a total of five other people here, not including those who intended to audition as well, and so Connor managed to space himself away from the rest of the small crowd. 

He watched the makeshift stage, it was really just a platform they must have pulled out from some backroom, as he waited for Evan. As far as he knew, the freckled boy was in another room somewhere, preparing himself for a likely panic attack. 

Connor couldn't help but replay the earlier situation through his head, he didn't know why he made the last minute choice to give Evan the ring. It had been a gift from some random family member he hadn't seen in years, but he wore it anyway. His feelings for Evan were many and confusing, and trying to think them through often frustrated him or just ended up giving him a headache. 

But he already started, so he might as well continue. 

Connor began with the things he knew. The obvious, non complicated answers. 

He'd met Evan a week ago, they both went to the same school but neither made an effort to speak with the other, he'd established some form a friendship with the boy.  

Slowly but surely Connor worked his way into more dangerous territory. 

He cared enough about Evan to be here right now, a part of him was pushing him to go find Evan and help him through his anxiety, Evan was the only one who knew how broken Connor actually was. 

This is how it normally went whenever he tried to sort everything out, he'd state certain facts but soon enough the questions would begin to roll in. Connor did his best to answer all of them. 

Why did he give Evan the ring? 

Because I didn't need it anymore, and we're friends. That's what friends do, right? Give each other random gifts for no reason?  I was also just trying to be nice. 

Why did he insist on being nice to Evan when he couldn't care less about anyone else? 

Because he's not like everyone else. He's just as broken as I am. He sees me for who I am and somehow doesn't hate it. I can't push that away. 

Speaking of which, why hadn't Connor pushed Evan away when they'd somehow ended up holding hands earlier?    

I-I just- 

Why was it every time Evan got even remotely close to him his heart would start pounding, his face would heat up, and he felt like he never wanted it to end? 

W-wait, I -      

Question after question, none he could answer. But one question, one he'd never dared to ask himself before because he feared the answer, snuck into his mind. A question that didn't begin with why, a question that didn't require an explanation, only an answer. Four words that would change the way Connor viewed his newfound friend forever. 

Do you love him?  

The answer was out before Connor could stop it, think it over, examine it like he had everything else. 

Yes. Yes I do. 

Evan's POV  + TIME SKIP TO AFTER AUDITION 'CUZ IM LAZY 

Evan breathing had finally calmed down once he got off stage. To his surprise, he'd actually done quite well. He'd only stuttered a few times, and even then at least they were the right lines. Evan twisted the ring on his middle finger, something he'd been doing since the second he stepped onto the stage. Maybe Connor was right, maybe it was a good luck charm.  

His mother had been waiting for him when he finished. Evan listened to her endless praise about how good he did and how proud she was to have a son who was so talented. Meanwhile, he was looking around the room for Connor. Evan had seen him when he first started his audition, and he'd looked like he'd seen a ghost. He'd looked down at the paper listing his lines one last time to prepare, and when Evan had looked back up, Connor was gone. 

Evan was saddened by this, he'd wanted to see how Connor thought he did. But he brushed it off, and followed his mom out to the car. On the way out Heidi had seen someone she knew from work and so she was currently doing what mom's do and having an endless conversation about whatever it is moms talk about. 

He leaned against the car, waiting for her to finish, when he heard his name being called. 

"Evan! Evan, wait! Don't leave yet!" a voice called out. Evan turned and he saw Connor running towards him, something in his hand. He smiled at the sight of the boy stumbling over to him. Evan, trying to alleviate some of the awkwardness of standing there and waiting for Connor to get to him, decided to meet him half way there.  

"Hey," Evan said when they'd met up, Connor's face was red and he was panting from all the running.

"Hey." he responded, trying to catch his breath. 

"Where'd you go? I saw you when we started but I looked back and you were gone." Evan asked, slightly concerned. Connor didn't seem like the type of person who would just bail unless there was a reason. Despite his reputation at school, Evan actually got to know the real Connor, not the image of him that everyone had burdened him with.   

"I-I just needed to do some thinking, so I went for a walk. I really didn't mean to miss the whole thing, but I passed a flower shop on the way back and well... here, these are for you." Connor said, holding out the object in his hand. 

Evan now saw it was a bouquette of white roses wrapped up in brown paper. 

"Oh! T-thank you." he said, taking the flowers of of Connor's hand. 

"I know they're supposed to be for after actual plays and stuff like that, but you deserve them." The taller boy said, and Evan couldn't tell if his face was flushed from the situation or if the effects from the running still hadn't completely worn off yet.  

Evan didn't respond, simply stared down at the flowers in awe. Connor let out an awkward laugh when neither of them spoke for a good bit, and took a deep breath before opening his mouth to say something. 

"On my walk, I also saw an ice cream shop if you want to go there? Your mom can come, too if she wants, j-just I don't know I thought it might be fun. But you don't have to if you don't want to. I get it you probably have better things-" 

"Connor!" Evan called for the third time, bringing the boy's attention back to him. He'd never seen Connor this flustered, and honestly it was kind of adorable.  

"Yes, I'd love to." he said, adjusting the bouquette in his hands.   

Connor just nodded absently, before shaking his hand. 

"Yeah, yeah okay then." He said, smiling. "Well, let's go, Hansen."

Connor flashed another smile at the use of his nickname for Evan, and Evan gladly returned it in full force. 

God, his smile was beautiful. Evan wished he would do it more, but that wasn't up to him. 

"Oh shut up, Murphy." Evan returned. He'd meant to make it sound sarcastic but his voice ended up cracking at the end causing both boys to laugh. 

Evan didn't know why he did it, maybe it was because he was able to get away with it earlier and the feeling made him never want to let go, but he smiled as he silently slipped his hand back into Connor's.  

Connor didn't say anything, and Evan waited to be pushed away. To be called disgusting and creep, to be ridiculed for even thinking he had a chance. 

But that didn't happen. 

And so his smile returned when Connor simply tightened his grip around Evan's own hand. Neither boy said a word, and as they walked over to Evan's mother to inform her of their newfound plans, loose petals from Evan's flowers trailing in the wind behind them, neither let go, either.