No One Can Reach Me | Changlix

Sleepless Nights

Felix let out a soft moan, his back arching into the touch of the hands roaming his body. He was biting his lips to keep the sounds inside while skilled hands moved over his bare chest, while those addicting lips captured his own again. Felix groaned softly against the other his lips, moving them eagerly. The kiss growing rougher and more heated, teeth clashing. Felix moves his hand up in the man's hair, as he kisses down Felix his neck, going south down his bare chest. Two hands slowly pushing his knees apart, spreading him wide before they find their way to the middle, palming his crotch. A load moan escapes his lips, quickly moving his own hands to cover them, biting down. The button of his pants gets undone with a small pop, he opened his eyes staring down at that handsome face. A shiver ran down his body as he saw the man smirk. "Touch me more... please." His voice sounded hoarse and distant, like he was floating somewhere far away. He did not care that he sounded needy he just wanted more. But instead of getting more the man slowly disappeared into the shadows.

"Ugh..." Felix sat up; his body was covered in sweat. He moved his hands through his hair as he stared down at his sheets, knowing what was hiding under there. What was wrong with him, it was just a dream, just a bad dream of something he wanted to forget. "What did you dream off?" Changbin's voice shook Felix awake from his own thoughts. "You are soaked in sweat, and you kept moaning..." Felix stared at him, obviously Changbin wanted to say more and tease him but he wisely kept his mouth shut, instead he held out his water bottle. "I drank out of it, but would you like some?" Felix turned to his nightstand; his own bottle was empty. Turning back, he looked at his roommate. Changbin was standing on his own side of the line, leaning against the window frame, the window was slightly opened, letting in a soft breeze that played with his hair. He was still holding the water bottle out for him "Go ahead, take it..."

A smirk grew on Changbin's face as Felix still did not move. He threw the water bottle over the white line in their room. The white line that divided their lives and kept them separate, the white line they had decided on that they would never cross. Felix catches the bottle, still looking at Changbin as he took of the cap and gulped the remaining water down eagerly. He felt the tickle of the cold water sliding down his chin, down his neck. He kept his eyes on Changbin and saw that the man was following the drops of water with his stare. It felt like the man was undressing him with his eyes, and it reminded Felix of the wet dream he had only moments ago, the room was getting hot, and Felix found it increasingly more difficult to breath. The suffocating heat was becoming unbearable. It felt like all the nerves in Felix his skin were extra sensitive. After he finished the water, he threw the empty bottle back laying back down in his bed, ignoring Changbin. And just like that, the moment, whatever it was, had ended.

❢ Flashback 1 year ago ❢ 

Felix was sitting with his group of friends in the cafeteria, picking at his food. "Hey Felix." Felix turned around to see two girls walking past them, one of them giving him a small wave and a smile. Felix responded with a nod and a smile. When the two girls had past, them it was Jisung who almost jumped over the table at him "You know Sana from class 2-B?" His eyes were wide with shock. Felix nodded "We lived in the same neighbourhood, when we were children we would often play together." Jisung looked at him excitedly "Can you introduce me to her, I mean she is the prettiest girl in the school. I would love to get to know her." Minho threw a piece of carrot at Jisung. "I thought you liked Momo." Jisung shrugged "Sana is friends with Momo, if I can get to know Sana, then maybe I can get to know Momo."

Minho just rolled his eyes, but Jisung turned his attention to Felix. "What about you?" He looked up shocked at his friend. "What about me?" He tilted his head looking at the other. "We have been at this school for a while now... is there anyone you like?" Felix let out a small laugh, a blush on his cheeks. "Changbin... maybe?" The words slipped his lips before he could stop himself. "WHAT?!" his friends scream could be heard through the entire cafeteria.

The words had come carelessly from my mouth, but they quickly reminded me. It was not something I could share with others.

"I... I am joking, just joking" Felix said, with a fake laugh. His friend let out a breath sitting back down. "Oh man, you scared me for a second."

That must always be kept hidden within my heart, I have to forget about it and continue living a reclusive life. I cannot fall in love, everything I love will slowly sink in the water and die. I break everything I touch.

"Felix! There you are!" Felix looked up and saw Changbin walking towards him and his group of friends, when he reached them, he dropped his plate of food on the table and leaned against Felix his back, hugging him from behind. His friends gave him a weird look and he just quickly shrugged. Changbin was just like this, touchy with people. Nobody should get the wrong idea; it was just a friendly gesture. Changbin was nice to everyone. Felix was not special.

After lunch Felix quickly excused himself, making his way to the pool. Even though he was not a member of the swimming club, the captain would often let him use the pool when it was not busy. He quickly got changed and dove into the water. He realised he was getting too comfortable around his friends; he was becoming too trusting. He should take a step back.

How could he have slipped up like that. How could he have been so careless. He could not share this with others, he could not let anyone find out the truth about him. His heart should always stay hidden. People should not get to close, if people got to close, he would get hurt, or worse they would get hurt.

After a few laps he got the sign that the pool was closing. He quickly got out of the water, looking up he saw his friend standing there, holding out a towel. "Hey..." Felix took the towel wrapping himself up in it. "Hey." He gave the man a smile. "Look I just wanted to say, remember when you said at lunch, about who you liked..." Felix stopped moving, nodding slowly. "Yeah... It was just a joke... don't worry about it." He continued walking past him to the dressing room, but Jisung followed him "I know, you said that... but just so you know... the reason I was shocked... why I said you scared me, it was not because you said you liked a guy... you know even if it was a joke or not, I am cool with that. It was just because you said you liked Changbin, I mean he has always been a bit of a playboy. So, I guess I was just surprised it was him." Felix turned to look at him. "It was a joke Jisung, don't worry about it. Changbin was just the first name that popped up in my head." He gave the man a pat on the shoulder before taking his clothes from his locker. "I like girls, just like you. It was a stupid joke, don't worry about it."

There was a white line, he could not cross.