No One Can Reach Me | Changlix

The Other Side

Changbin knocked on the door, waiting for a moment before it opened, revealing a very annoyed Hyunjin. "Can I crash here?" he said as a way of greeting, not waiting for a respond as he already moved past the other into the room. "No, you cannot! Why do you even need to crash here?" Changbin shrugged as he laid down on Seungmin's bed, the owner of the bed ignoring them completely as he was studying at his desk. "We had a fight." Hyunjin closed the door turning around to face Changbin. "Bad enough that you can't even sleep in the same room? And you have to go and bother me" He sounded like he did not believe him, Changbin just shrugged in responds. Grabbing Seungmin's body pillow and hugging it to make himself comfortable. Hyunjin rolled his eyes "Even if you had a fight, Don't you have a waiting list of girls you can crash at? Go find one of them?" Hyunjin kept giving him annoyed looks. "Too much work..." He said, annoying Hyunjin even further. "Damn, they should see your true personality, I am sure most of them would run away."

"Yes, I know... I am a terrible human being, just a horrible person." Changbin said with a sarcastic tone, before laying back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He frowned, pain and anger, those words would describe what he felt. All of this was because of Felix, the game, the girls everything. He had noticed the way Felix had felt about him long ago, even though the man tried to hide it, he obviously had feelings for him, he was certain that the younger felt the same thing he felt. He had hoped that if he cornered the younger enough, he would finally give in and admit to them. He had tried everything from talking and sugaring up to the man, to do everything for him, to the point that he tried to make him jealous. But Changbin was reaching his limit.

"Why is it so hard to make him admit his feelings for me." Changbin spoke, more to himself than to the others in the room. Seungmin glanced at Hyunjin who just shook his head.

"Curfew will start soon and as much as I love you dude, I do not want to get detention just because you are fighting with your roommate, or worse get expelled because of you." Changbin sat up ready to argue but before he could say anything, the two had grabbed him by the arms and thrown him out of the room. He had been there for only 10 minutes and the two had already thrown him out.

Changbin slowly made his way back to his own room. He did not care about curfew, it's not like it was that strict anyways. The only reason Hyunjin wanted him out of the room is because he wanted to fuck his roommate. The two were good students during the day and rabbits during the night. When he reached his door, he just stood there. Pressing his forehead against it as he closed his eyes. His thoughts travelling to the man sitting on the other side of it. The way Felix looked, the way he smiled and moved. How he looked when he was sleeping, how deep his voice was. A sigh came off his lips as he touched the doorknob. He had never wanted anyone, but he wanted Felix. Even though he wanted the guy, he could not go on like this. He had to let Felix go. Then he could stop this façade of inviting girls to his room. If he stopped trying to get Felix, his attention then maybe he could return to the way he was. "What do you think you are doing out of your room at this hour?" Changbin opened his eyes, turning his head to face the dorm coordinator. "I just returned from the restroom." He said as he opened the door, moving inside. The teacher following behind him to see if Felix was there. The guy was still sitting on his bed, in the same position as when Changbin had left.

The dorm coordinator left after peaking inside the room closing the door behind him. Changbin just stood there awkwardly in the middle of the room. It hurt to see the man he loved like that, broken and sad. He saw the small shakes in Felix his shoulders, the trembling of the man's body. "They are checking if everyone is in their room, I'll leave again when it's over." Felix tilted his head up, looking at Changbin. His eyes where puffy and red, the man had obviously crying. Felix his voice was soft but in the silence in the room, Changbin could hear him loud and clear. "And then you are going to some girls room again?" The silence was long, and the tension could be cut like a knife. Changbin rubbed the back of his neck letting out a sigh. "Probably... I need to sleep somewhere."

Felix balled his fist, his nails forming little crescent shapes in his palms. His head moving down again, hiding his expression. It was silent again, and Changbin felt the weight of it crushing him. He stared at the clock on his phone, 5 minutes. They should have cleared the floor by now. He turned around, opening the door peeking out in the hallways to check if it was empty. "Don't go." The words were soft, muffled by his arms. Changbin turned around, staring at the younger on the bed, Felix his entire body was trembling, a trembling that sounded in his voice when he spoke again. "Please, don't go." It took Changbin a few seconds to recollect himself. He closed the door and crossed his arms. "By asking me not to go, what do you expect me to do?" He had just came to the conclusion that he would let the other go, and now Felix was asking for him to come back again. "Are we just going to be stuck in this endless cycle? You reject me first and then ask me to stay. You want me to remain here? By your side even after you reject me. Sorry but I can't live with that. You said you won't be playing my game anymore, that means I won't be playing yours either." Felix finally looked up, looked straight at Changbin. Changbin just looked back with a sad expression. He was hoping that Felix would say something, do anything. But the younger just sat there silently.

He let out a sigh and fell back on his own bed not in the mood to find a place to stay anymore. He was tired of his own feelings, of this cat and mouse game between them. Laying down, staring up at his own ceiling. He realised he was a fool. A fool for falling in love with Felix, falling in love with a guy that was so complicated. Why could Felix not just admit that he liked him, why could he not go with the flow. They could be happy together but instead he was rejected again and again. It did not matter what he did, good things or bad things. Felix would never admit to his feelings, Felix would never be his.