S U N S H I N E - Demetri Volturi

Chapter 38

Guilt makes one do irrational things. Whether it be stupid decisions like drugs or alcohol to drown the blame one has put on himself, reckless actions to let adrenalin overpower the feeling for the shortest of times, letting oneself get consumed by work, school, hobbies or any other thing to get a distraction that barely lasts long enough to get a break or pushing people close to one as far away as the globe allows.

For Edward it's the latter one; he locks himself in his room to avoid the thoughts of his family, to avoid his father's eyes, to avoid his mother's pity, to avoid Alice's sadness, to avoid showing his true feels in front of Jasper, to avoid Rosalie's satisfied smirk and to avoid Emmett, who will do his best to cheer him up. But Edward does not want to be confronted with what he did two days ago, he does not want to be cheered up; he just wants to be left alone and pout in silence. At least for now.

But next to the guilt that seems to have consumed his mind, there is also the intense longing, wrapping itself around his heart. May it be the longing to pout in his mate's arms rather than alone in darkness or may it be the longing to drown his guilt in blood. Not that it would matter because he has pushed both those longings to the darkest place his mind has to offer.

Looking up from his pathetic looking position on his bed as he hears the door fall shut, Edward glares in Kyra's direction. The ginger is making a face at the awful smell in the room and looks around in disgust before walking over to open the curtains, ignoring him and his glare.

Edward squeezes his eyes shut for a second as the blinding light of the sun illuminates his face. Kyra just simply keeps on ignoring him and opens the windows as wide as possible before turning in his direction with her arms crossed in front of her chest and her back leaning against the window frame.

"What do you want?"
Edward questions her; with an eye roll that can practically be heard in his voice.

"Well, for starters it would be great if you could just suck it up already."
she points out.

"But since it's you we are talking about, I doubt this will happen any time soon."
Kyra adds.

"And that's alright. You are allowed to mourn or feel a bit of guilt after the death of someone you love, or well used to love. Especially, if you loved them the way you did."
she continues; his gift subconsciously reaching out to her mind for some kind of proof she is telling the truth.

"But it is not okay to let those feelings consume you. It is not okay to add worry to your family's life, it is not okay to let yourself down over it."
Kyra sighs.

"And now go change into something that isn't leaked in someone's blood before Valentina is going to take you hunting."
she orders him, her tone still sweet and soft.

"Valentina?"
Edward finally reacts at the name of his mate.

"She didn't really want to."
Kyra kills his hope.

"But we figured you wouldn't want to burden anyone in your family and would feel uncomfortable with any other Volturi taken you. So, she offered to help you out as good as possible."
she adds an explanation.

"She will make sure you don't slip. But she will also make sure you do not get any stupid ideas."

Edward gives a very weak smile at that before finally getting up; his body aching slightly as the lack of movements over the last hours catches up with him.

Disappearing into the bathroom with some clothes to change into, his eyes fall onto the mirror and he gives a silent sigh before cleaning himself up. Washing Isabella's blood off his chin, combing through his hair and just wash himself in general. He doesn't shower, it would be pointless anyway seeing as he would have to do it after hunting anyway.

Kyra uses his absence to look around the room for a second before she walks back out, where an annoyed Valentina is sitting cross-legged as well as cross-armed on the couch with a glare as sharp as a dagger.

"Don't look at me like that."
the ginger raises her hands in surrender.

"He is not okay. And with him not being okay, you are not okay."
she points out.

"I am perfectly fine."
Valentina defends herself.

"Now, you are. But the longer Edward would have held this shit up, the worse he would have gotten and at some point, you wouldn't have been okay no more. And I am so not ready to lose you."
Kyra means.

"So what? You guys decide to make me babysit someone, who I am supposed and quite forced to care for while his mind is consumed by his bitch of an ex?"
Valentina exclaims; not noticing as Edward has left his room.

Is that how he made her feel? Has he really been that focused on Isabella and everything else going on that he made her feel like he doesn't care about her?

"You agreed, didn't you? And if Edward doesn't see how much better you are than my plain cousin, then he is a freaking idiot. But at least you can say you gave him a chance, you can say that it just didn't work out."
Kyra means.

"You will regret it, if you don't. Hell, you regret the decision not to make a picture at Antelope Canyon when you visited Arizona half a year ago despite being able to go there again, basically whenever you feel like it. But if you say no to him now, I don't now if you get the chance to say yes to him later."
she adds.

Hearing a cough behind them, they turn towards Edward, who pretends to have just left his room and the two stop their conversation immediately.

"Let's go."
Valentina simply rolls her eyes before exiting the room, leaving Edward to run after her.

"I see you got him to leave his room."
Carlisle, who has been talking to Aro in their unused wine cellar.

"Thank you."
he nods gratefully.

Sending him a small smile, Kyra leaves the room to make her way over to hers; not surprised anymore as she sees Demetri just about to change into more comfortable clothes after his shift. He basically moved into her room over the last week; but who is she to complain?