Dissolving

Chapter 16 - Mary Poppins

Thankfully, the bathroom is empty as I stumble inside.

I almost don't dare look at myself in the mirror. Then I realize that my sight is too blurry to recognize anything, anyway, so I mindlessly start to rub my eyes to fix that. This, as I find out the hard way once I do get a better look, only makes matters worse. A breath hitches in my throat when my messy face finally comes into focus.

Black streaks of mascara are smeared underneath my eyes and partially onto my cheeks. I really cannot blame Aidan for the raccoon reference, because that is exactly what I resemble. Fresh tears well up in my eyes and I watch with a weird kind of fascination how tiny black rivers of liquid trickle down my face.

I am a miserable sight all right.

I allow myself to indulge in some more crying, feeling mightily sorry for myself and the embarrassing situation I got myself into. All this just because I felt like dressing up and acting like a girly girl version of myself for a change. Once I am done throwing a pity party for myself, I will have to figure out how to clean up the mess that is my face.

I continue to stare at my reflection in the mirror as tears of frustration, embarrassment and – to a certain degree – of desperation stream down my face. The occasional sob racks my body, too.

That is how my savior finds me.

I literally jump at the sound of the bathroom door opening. At first, I am terrified that one of my brothers not only found me but decided to ignore the unwritten rule that boys are not allowed in the girls' bathroom. I bury my face in my hands, irrationally hoping that this would make me invisible to whoever joined me in here.

"Darling, are you okay?" a sweet voice penetrates my thoughts.

When I realize that the voice does not belong to either of my brothers, because it is clearly female, I start to cry even more. This time out of relief more than anything else.

"Hey, hey, hey," the unknown lady says.

I feel the gentle touch of a hand on the back of my neck and, instead of moving away from the woman, I instinctively lean into her. An arm wraps itself around my shoulders and I am lightly pulled into an embrace.

"It's okay. You're okay," the nice voice whispers into my hair as the person carefully hugs me against their body.

Despite my stuffy nose from all the crying, I can tell that she smells very nice. I catch myself wondering when I last received a hug from a woman and sadly, I cannot even remember. It might have been Hannah, the day I got home from the hospital after my surgery, but I am not sure. The thought of Hannah brings new tears to my eyes.

Sam will be getting married to her soon and she will officially become part of my family. This fact was the trigger for my little breakdown in the first place. I don't even know why I am crying about this because it is no surprise that they are doing this. It should be something that makes me happy, not sad.

"Aww, darling, I am so sorry," the lady says.

I only notice now that she has kind of a strange accent. Her voice is warm, it almost feels like a fuzzy blanket that engulfs you. A bit like the low and calm voice Jordan uses when I am upset about something and he wants to comfort me.

But why is she saying sorry?

The woman obviously hasn't done anything other than being nice to me.

"I don't know what happened to upset you so much, love, but I am sure we can fix it, somehow. How about you take a deep breath and once you have calmed down, you tell me what happened?"