Dissolving

Chapter 19 - Private Eye

I didn't sleep well last night.

I kept tossing and turning and it seemed impossible for me to get some rest. Luke and I stayed on that hill until about an hour after sunset, just talking and enjoying each other's company.

He was curious to learn what I had planned to find Alex a girlfriend, or, more accurately, how I thought I could get him together with Jo. Since I didn't really have a detailed plan yet but only a rough idea of what needed to happen, I kept it rather vague. Luke found it hilarious that I was so determined to "force" love on our eldest sibling. But he admits that it is high time that Alex settles down.

Not that he is in desperate need to start his own family, we agreed on that, seeing as he still has his hands full raising a few teenagers – and me. I kind of took offense to the fact that Luke had to single me out and I firmly reminded him that it was only three months until I would be a teenager, too. He just laughed at my outrage.

I wonder what it will be like once Alex has a wife and his own little family. It feels weird to think that he will, one day, maybe, do just that. I have never really thought about it before, neither when it comes to him nor any of the others. It is actually quite interesting that none of them have kids yet. I mean, they are plenty old enough for that. We must have put them off wanting their own family after they got stuck with raising the twins and me and, partially, Will and Jack, too.

I probably should feel a bit guilty about this, but I really don't. It's not like I chose this family setup. It was Alex choice, as far as I know with the limited amount of information I have gathered over the past few months. And, according to various statements of my brothers, he was quite happy to do it, too. I hope that this is true and he doesn't, I don't know, secretly resent us or something.

I asked Luke if he remembers Alex ever having been in a proper relationship, like Ben or Sam are, because I don't. Luke laughed and suggested that maybe Alex was more like Josh in that respect and my eyes grew wide at that. I never even consider that this could be the case and when he brought it up, I wondered if that was why he didn't literally fall over Jo, like Jordan did.

I don't know why, but I just always pictured that Alex would marry a girl one day. Maybe I am totally wrong with that assumption. Not that I care either way because I am my soon-to-be brother-in-law's biggest fan, so I wouldn't mind at all if Alex found himself his own Tom.

When Luke saw my contemplative and slightly confused expression, he laughed and told me that he didn't think that Alex liked guys in that way. He then told me about how Alex used to go out and date a lot of girls when he was still in high school. Apparently, he was a bit like Jordan, which is really hard to imagine. They are literally nothing alike, at least not when it comes to the outrageous flirting my third-eldest brother does, and all the stuff it entails. I simply cannot picture Alex going up to girls and turning on his charm just to impress them.

I questioned Luke about this and he reminded me that he was only a little boy back when Alex was around 17 or 18 and didn't really care what his oldest brothers were up to. He was busy enough trying to keep up with Sam and Ben, forcing them to spend time with him, which they hated, according to how Luke tells it. I feel a bit sorry for him. It must have been hard being the youngest out of eight.

I am sort of in a similar position to Luke back then, but being a girl makes it a bit different – and probably easier. I would be lying if I claimed that my siblings ever made me feel unwanted or regularily made me leave them alone. Okay, maybe Aidan wasn't – and still isn't – too fond of spending time with me, but it was easy enough to ignore him growing up, seeing as Noah was always happy to let me tag along. He also used to play quite a lot with me, I remember that, and when Aidan came and complained, Noah often told him to go away and look for someone else's company since he was now doing things with me. I guess Noah is what one would call a perfect sibling to grow up with.