Dissolving

Chapter 33 - Loving Family

My feet are freezing.

That is the first thing I notice when I wake up with a start. It takes a moment for me to get my bearings and figure out why it feels like I am lying on a slab of rock. I readjust my blanket as my brain slowly starts to boot up and form any coherent thoughts.

The hard surface of whatever I am lying on digs into my shoulder blade as I try to re-wrap my duvet around my freezing body. Instinctively, I want to curl up into a fetal position but two things stop me from going all the way. First, the hard surface – my bed? – now also digs uncomfortably into my hipbone. And secondly, my knee protests when I attempt to pull my legs closely against my upper body. I abandon that plan and focus on figuring out where I am.

A muffled groan from somewhere above my head startles me.

And suddenly I know exactly where I am: in Alex's bedroom. On the floor.

Another groan comes from my oldest brother and I instantly stop shuffling around. I must have woken him up, rustling my sheets in order to get more comfortable. It is a mystery to me how I even managed to fall asleep on the floor in the first place.

I have no idea what time it is, but from the small sliver of light coming into the room through the slit between the two thick, dark grey curtains I decide that it must be early morning.

Alex moves again in his bed and I contemplate getting up off the floor to check on him. He lets out another grunt-like sound. I wonder if he is in pain. Probably so. His pain medication will have stopped working. I may not be a doctor, but I know from when my knee was healing that pain medication needs to be taken every six hours or so to be effective. With me, Sam explained that it was sufficient to take two, maximum three pills every 24 hours. Otherwise they would have knocked me out, he claimed, because apparently I am such a lightweight.

Taking this logic into consideration, I assume Alex needs to take at least double the amount to manage his pain. But Jordan also mentioned something yesterday about these meds being way stronger than what they gave me, because Alex's tolerance is apparently much higher. I didn't question it, because my main concern is that my brother isn't in agony and gets the required rest.

The shuffling sound from above my head starts up again.

Is Alex awake or is he moving around in his sleep?

Maybe he is uncomfortable?

I keep as still as possible as to not disturb him or wake him up in case he is still sleeping. My other brothers made it very clear that none of us kids are supposed to do anything that could jeopardize Alex getting all the rest he needs to heal quickly.

Which is why I ended up sleeping on his bedroom floor.

My initial plan was to share his bed. But Jordan, who read my intentions correctly, flat out forbid me from doing that. When I protested, he reminded me that I am a very fidgety bed companion and the chances that I would kick Alex in my sleep and hurt him were rather high. Since we are obviously supposed to protect him from any additional pain, Jordan's reasoning made sense. But I wasn't happy with it, to say the least. I promised myself that I would not let Alex out of my sight while he is recovering.

Which resulted in me sneaking into his room at night, when the others had gone to sleep, and install myself next to his bed. On the floor. I didn't mind that it was rather uncomfortable. The only thing that mattered was that I was nearby in case Alex woke up and needed something.

I must have fallen asleep pretty quickly after I got settled in my personal little cocoon, wrapped up tightly in my fluffy blanket (with Oscar tugged firmly against my chest). Alex seems to have slept through the night, too, because I don't remember waking up because of him. And if he had tried to get out of bed, he would have stepped right onto my sleeping form, so I can be certain that he did no such thing.