tea stained newpapers. mileven au.

twenty three.

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE:
NUMB TO THE FEELING.
MIKE'S POV.

if this was a few days ago, the raven haired boy would have sworn that he wasn't expecting to come back to the humble city of manhattan just yet.

truthfully, it sounds unbelievably selfish. the writer didn't need to be told twice that he was the one acting overwhelmingly dramatic over this entire situation. which is why it should be mentioned that past mike's original plans were to wait things out until he felt it was absolutely one hundred percent safe to make an appearance again.

safe meaning... completely ready to actually speak to the small beautiful brunette that had made him lose his mind for the past three weeks now.

which in all honestly, was something he believed he was sort of prepared to do. in the sense that he was just going to let it all go and ignore the fact that anything happened, safely locking away his precious little heart from shattering for a second time.

though... he would be lying if he said there wasn't that sick feeling of hope still swirling into forest fire in the center of his stomach, saturated and fueled by those words that had been echoing back and forth in his brain since that day on the beach. it was as if that statement was a hallow rubber ball, the force creating ripples of sharp sound waves against his skull to the point where it felt like his ears were ringing.

i don't think she doesn't feel the same way you do, i think she doesn't think the same way you do.

it was a bland statement. honestly, when he first heard the accusation flow from his sister's mouth he thought the wording was regrettably flawed.

how could she not think the way he does?

from mike's point of view, he thought everything was perfect between them. some might even say more than perfect. and honestly, if he is really getting detailed about what his heart kept telling him every day since seeing her for the first time, he had never felt more comfortable around anyone else before he met that tiny artist. it was like her presence was able to intoxicate him with one simple glance in his direction.

but then there was the logical side of his brain, the side that was only supported by facts and evidence, not by these insightful little sparks of feelings people call emotions.

el hopper was fragile, surrounded by a thin shell of glass that was stained by trauma. and although mike believed this was exactly what made her so beautiful, her strength and grace, how was she supposed to know that he would handle her with care?

because even if he had shown her with every single one of his subtle movements, nothing was confirmed until said out loud.

so maybe, she really doesn't think the same way he does.

and the most unfortunate thing about that realization was answering the following... how does he fix this?

or has he already started that process? was leaving for so long somehow something that determined her feelings? did he mess everything up by taking the time to unweave all his stringing thoughts from the other?

or was there a small possibility that it actually helped her?

truly, these exact questions had been sending his mind into a full on frenzy this past week, his nights full of only playing out scenarios in his head until his eyes finally couldn't stay open any longer. which in all honesty, could be to blame as to why he ended up here.