Inquisitione - Pierre Gasly

2.1

„ I'll do whatever I want. " Julien shouted at me, which got me to take a step back as his tone sent a shiver through my body. „ You should be glad I won't let you give up what you worked for your whole life, just because of one person. I knew he would be just trouble as soon as you told us about him. " He glared at me, even though his actions had nothing to do with helping me in any way. For him it probably seemed like it, but I just knew he was pushing me towards decisions that would lead to his dreams and never mine.

„ That's the main problem. That I already gave up so many years for something I don't enjoy anymore. " I shook my head at him, making his arms drop down next to himself. „ I loved it, a lot. But I don't find the idea of me doing it until I'm too old for the sport luring, in any way. " I voiced my thoughts somehow making him look even more shocked. „ I just want to enjoy myself and find other things I like, without spending day in and day out in the gym, trying to catch up with everyone who still has the passion you need. " I added with a sigh, hoping he would say something, but he just stayed silent. My sight got blurry as he didn't even try to say something and just stood in front of me.

„ Should we go? " Pierre broke the silence when I looked up at him and with a nod I got my coat on, before stepping outside. He immediately took my hand when I brushed my fingers over his, not even taking one last look back as I followed him to his car. He opened the door for me, before getting to the other side so he could get in too.

I let out a relieved sigh when we finally left our street and were on our way to the highway that leads out of Paris. Somehow the city that meant love and intimacy to so many was just a place that made my anxiety skyrocket every time I visited and didn't have everything planned out to the dot, just so I won't give a chance for my own brother to be angry or fed up with me. I didn't even know how we're gonna get out of this one, I could just hope that we will find a solution with which we can just go our separate ways without bringing each other down. I just wanted to get out of a place that didn't bring me happiness anymore. Most people were under pressure from their parents, while I experienced the same just from a sibling and not a parent.

„ Did something happen that he was this furious? " Pierre asked when we were finally on the highway and I finally calmed down. „ Or does he just hate me this much? " He asked, making me sigh.

„ I told them that I'm done with my skiing career. My parents didn't even care, but he just flipped out. " I shrugged my shoulders, looking at him. „ Don't know how he came up with you being the cause for it, but his thinking was never rational. " I added, shaking my head as I was completely clueless why he was angry with Pierre too and not just me who actually made the decision that he despised so much.

„ Probably believes that you started thinking about it when we got together. " He shrugged, his eyes staying on the road. „ We can sit down to have a talk with him in the next few days if you would like to. We can explain it all to him. " He added, taking my hand when he was sure he wouldn't need both hands on the steering wheel.

„ No, I don't want to just tell him 'excuses' and give him another chance. He had enough of them already. " I shook my head, squeezing his hand as I held his one in both of mine. „ He will have to realise it by himself. I'm not getting him there this time. I'm done living by his rules. " I added looking out the window as I watched the fields pass by. I was looking forward to finally doing other things too, but a bit scared by it all at the same time.

We tried not bringing up the topic again as I just wanted to make sure that I wouldn't be miserable while meeting his family finally. Turning on some music helped with my mood, as we had a Christmas playlist going, making me hum along to them as Pierre laughed at my poor attempt. It was a longer drive, but it gave me enough time to calm down and when it was time to get out I already had a smile on my face and went to the trunk so I could take out the little tin of cookies we made yesterday. I took one last deep breath before joining Pierre and we went to the door hand in hand. I felt more excited than anxious as he rang the bell and while we waited for the door to open I fixed the collar of his shirt a little. There was probably nothing wrong with it but I just had the instinct to occupy my hand with something.