Inquisitione - Pierre Gasly

2.2

The first month of the year for me was all about restarting my life, as cliche as that sounds. I finally got my abandoned channel together, giving it a more organized look as I usually just uploaded whatever I felt like and it had no layout whatsoever. There were some I had to delete and some that I just finally got into a playlist based on the topic of them. There were also lots of paperwork that was waiting for my signature, so my departure could be announced officially. The day before the due date for the signed versions I also recorded a small little farewell video. I left it to my team to decide if they wanted to post it as a little thank you from me or not. I knew I will definitely post a longer video for the restart of my channel where I will mention my 'retirement' from the sport and some plans for the future. I felt like a new person as I planned everything out for the next few weeks at least, although thanks to Pierre's schedule I had some ideas for even as far away as half a year later.

The day it was announced stung a little, as everything became real and was now irreversible. It probably helped that I have been thinking about this decision for the last year or so, getting myself used to the idea, but it still felt strange that from this point I wasn't part of any team and I wouldn't be competing under the French flag. It was a strange feeling, but at the same time I felt free in a sense, as I didn't have to make all my plans considering all the competitions, training and camps. The only thing I had to consider were Pierre's races, but as it involved traveling around the world it was perfect for how I wanted my year to look. They were the things I was most looking forward to, probably because I got to be next to him during the process.

In the middle of January I had to go back to Milano to get my things and get the apartment ready so I could finally put it up onto the market as I didn't need anything in Italy since I wasn't attending any training there. I already had my eye on a new one in Paris, close to Pierre's but it wasn't available for moving-in until mid February. Luckily Pierre didn't have anything against me staying at his in Faenza while I waited for mine to get ready. He was in America with RedBull before they could start AlphaTauri up for the new season, so I had the apartment to myself to get videos ready for uploading and at least I could keep it clean as a thank you. We did actually work as a team quite well, which was calming to know that living together wasn't too big of a challenge for us just as having to spend time away from each other wasn't either. Going into a year where we were gonna travel together, it was a good sign that we couldn't get bored of eachother but I was relieved that we had time separately for ourselves before it started.

When I flew out to Barcelona at the beginning of February there were already some cases but we never thought that travelling to Australia in March will be pointless as the race got cancelled before it could even start. We still stayed a few days to replan everything as we didn't really want to stay in Italy after they went into lockdown. We decided on Dubai in the end as they looked better at battling the problems and it was also the best weather choice. Luckily I could do my new job from anywhere, and Pierre only needed his training as we knew this won't be a small little break before they could get back to racing. So we made sure we had everything we needed, before flying out to Dubai with Pyry and some other crew members from AlphaTauri.

I tried to cut my videos as much as possible in a way that people won't realise where I am and with who I am spending my time. It wasn't as easy as when I had his apartment for myself, even though people already started some rumours that some rooms that were in my video looked quite similar to Pierre's home from photos. They knew we're friends, they have seen me during races and on photos next to him when I only attended them as his friend, but didn't know that things changed between us. I just hoped we can stay in this state, them questioning everything but not finding real answers that could verify any of their ideas. Until the middle of April, where I messed up, quite badly. I uploaded a video in it's scheduled time, only realising later that a part included Pierre walking into the room behind me. I probably didn't realise during filming it that he came back, as when I knew there were parts where they could hear or see him, I usually made sure that I went through it thoroughly to get them out. This time, I wasn't meticulous enough and could do nothing as they were already commenting about the part everywhere when I realised my mistake and could have taken it down. It didn't matter if I left it up or deleted it, as everyone already saw it or could see it on other platforms.

For the remainder of April we tried to just keep low, not really answering any questions, even though there were comments all over both of our profiles. We wanted to wait until they finally calm down, so we won't be pouring oil on an already burning fire. They were mostly kind about the whole situation, but we couldn't know what will happen when we make it truly official. What I didn't think would happen was that someone else would announce it for us. I should have known that nothing will be easy with my family, as my brother decided to completely leave logic at home during an interview, and just straight up confirmed my relationship with Pierre, and knowing him he would have answered anything they asked him.

„ I could kill him right now if that wouldn't mean jail for me. " I shook my head as I replayed the video of the interview again, listening to all his words as Pierre was watching it, sitting next to me.

„ We would have told them anyways. Not like this and not now, but at least it wasn't something we didn't plan on. " He sighed, taking his own phone out to look at something, while I was busy with watching the video. I had the urge to call Julien and start arguing with him, but I knew nothing would be fixed with that decision as I will probably just make it even worse. „ Maybe it will be better like this. Easier. " He added, making me think, even though I was still not looking forward to how all of his fans will now comment on his stuff while knowing we are together.

„ They will know everything, I don't want them to be in that position. It's our relationship, still everyone will just try getting between us. I don't want that. " I shook my head, my hands falling into my lap with my phone still between them. „ That never ends well. " I added, pouting and actually close to crying.

„ Fleur... they will know what we tell them. They're not here to hear everything we say. Yeah, relationships end sometimes, but if it's stable before then being official on socials won't be the one breaking it. " He shook his head with his arm around my shoulders to pull me closer. „ We're quite stable now, if you ask me. It's not gonna change anything, that we can now post freely and you won't have to edit videos for hours to make sure they can't hear me or anything. " He tried calming me down, and actually succeeding even though I was still not happy about the situation.

„ I know, I just hate when people take control away from me. Even worse when it's your own family. " I shook my head, turning to my left so I could hug him easier, getting closer to him. Luckily he opened his arms for me, letting me cuddle his side while he crossed his arms around me. I felt as he left a kiss on the top of my head, making me smile contently for a second before I just closed my eyes again, hiding my face in his jumper.

„ We're gonna get through this just fine. You won't even feel the difference. " He promised me, making me nod, so he knows I believe him, but I didn't plan on letting him go.

I knew it won't be easy immediately, but I wanted to face it with positive vibes and try to act as truly nothing happened, as nothing really did in our real lives. Maybe things around us did, but that didn't have any effect on our feelings or decisions. I knew I would have days when it won't be this clear for my mind, but I was sure that I would get through it with Pierre's help. Or at least I hoped so.