The Jeremy Gilbert Diaries Continued

3.15

Julien came.

I noticed him standing at the back of the church behind everyone else, watching me with a sympathetic look as I gave the eulogy.

When I was done speaking, after miraculously shedding only a few tears, I immediately ran down the aisle and threw my arms around him. He pulled me against his body tightly and I buried my face in his neck. I exhaled shakily, trying to ease the tears. I managed a weak smile when I inhaled the smell of his cologne.

"I am so, so sorry Jer,"

"Thank you," I whispered, because I knew he meant it unlike everyone else who was just being polite. "Thank you so much for being here." I clutched onto him harder if that was possible, subconsciously wishing I could just melt away inside him and live his life instead.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it."

It sucks so fucking much that this happened. Especially to Aunt Jenna. She was so special- I wish I could've told her that.

The universe is a cruel, cruel, being.

Now excuse me while I go try and forget how miserable I am. Maybe I'll fall asleep tonight and never, ever wake up again.

Wouldn't that be nice?

Jeremy Gilbert