Behind Your Walls

15 | the fight

My hands tremble as I ring the bell of my house. It sounds like a 'ding' and is followed by a tune I have gotten used to hearing. I stare at my shoes while I wait for the polished wooden door to open. If I am correct, Panther isn't home. He is drinking his head off somewhere else and this is my time to find Mom alone.

It took me a while to get here because I had taken the decision suddenly. After what happened with Carter at school, I was confused about all the things happening in my life.

I need my Mom.

The door opens and I hear her gasp before I lift my eyes to look at her. She is dressed in a pretty purple dress and when she sees me, she smiles.

"Mommy!" I exclaim, throwing myself in her arms and hugging her.

We are both of the same height and when she hugs me back, she places her head on my shoulder.

"My baby..." she coos, nuzzling her nose in my hair.

It feels good to be back in her arms. We stand there for a while, not letting go of each other. When we do let go, she still holds my hand as I step in and close the door behind me.

"I hope Panther's not at home."

"I won't be smiling if he was," Mom assures me with a feeble smile.

We walk together towards the hall. I feel like a stranger in my own house. I have no idea where I belong anymore — in Carter's house or at my Mom's. Both feel unfamiliar to me.

I take a place on the couch and put my bag on the table. I didn't bother waiting for Carter at the bus stop. I texted him instead and he marked it off as 'seen'. I feel guilty for something which isn't even my fault but the guilt is more like regret.

Mom comes back with a glass of water and gives it to me. After the long walk from school here, it feels like the most needed thing as I gulp it all in one go. Placing the glass back on the table, I face Mom as she sits on the couch beside me.

"Where did you go?" Mom asks before I can ask her about her well-being.

Her question throws me off-guard. Surely, she did tell me to run away but I don't think she will be glad to know that I am crashing at a boy's house.

"I'm staying at Lucy's," I lie.

She seems confused for a second and her eyes form a thoughtful look.

"Who's Lucy? I thought you went to your grandma's," she says.

"I didn't want to leave you here...with him."

Her eyes soften and she brushes a strand of my hair from my forehead. "Hope they aren't troubling anyone."

I smile, knowing she means it as a joke. She knows I won't trouble people, at least not intentionally.

"They are nice people."

That isn't a lie though. The people I am staying with are nice indeed. Mom gives a soft laugh and leans on the couch. She sighs, her voice sounding tired.

"I wanted to call you but Panther took my phone."

My ears perk up at that. I grab her hand in a startling move. She looks at me with sorrowful eyes.

"Why?"

"He was upset to see you gone and when I wanted to reason with him, he ordered me to no longer speak to you anymore. He broke my phone..." Mom's eyes take upon a glassy look. "He wants to see if you will come back to see if something's wrong."

My blood runs cold at her words. I did want to call her and now that I look back to the time when I thought twice about my decision and was saved by Carter's timely arrival, I can't help but let out a soft gasp of fear, aware of my close escape.