Percy Jackson: Guardian of the Hunt

Chapter 15

TW: mentions of discomfort with eating, depression.

Percy gets better. The first few months are hellish, for everyone involved but for no one more than Percy. He's determined though, and with help from Krys, Selene, Thalia and the rest of the hunters, he slowly but surely, heals. 

He has days when he's happy and is able to eat well. On those days, he goes running with Selene and hangs out with the other hunters and even sings along in at the weekly bonfire. He goes hunting, plays pranks and the camp is alive with raucous laughter and colourful swearing. 

Some days, he can't keep any food down because of the vivid nightmares. He doesn't leave his tent and stays huddled on his bed, hiding under the covers, managing only little sips of water and salt crackers. Some days, he doesn't leave his bed at all. And when he does manage to, he sits in a corner and zones out until Thalia or Selene or Krys shake him out of it and coax him to eat something. It helps that everyone is patient with him and they treat him like they always have, but he cannot muster the energy to reciprocate anything. 

It's a cycle and it seems endless. 

But Percy keeps going. He never stays down for long. He has more good days than bad days. He actually enjoys life and enjoys being alive. He's tired almost always, even when he does nothing but sleep. He doesn't understand why he feels like that either. Sometimes, he spars with the hunters just to give himself something to do but he has no interest. Nico Iris Messages him almost everyday, just to babble and rant about some mundane thing or the other. He seems to know, that Percy was going through something and was all too happy to distract the older whenever he could.

He skilfully doesn't mention Annabeth, or Camp in their mostly one-sided conversations and Percy knows, sooner or later, he has to confront those emotions too but he decides to cut himself some slack and face one problem at a time. 

He doesn't remember who he used to be. Once upon a time, he used to look forward to things, he had hope and he had dreams, no matter how small they'd been. But now he feels nothing. No matter how far he looks, all he sees is darkness. It seems impossible to imagine a future where he is happy and at peace with all the decisions he's made. A future where he forgives the people who hurt him but most importantly a future where he forgives himself for the things he never became and for the things he was forced to become. 

Percy keeps trying though. 

"And that is more than enough, Perce," Krys tells him softly when he confesses everything to her one muggy night, a few months in, when the weight of it all had become too much to bear. She throws an arm over his shoulder to pull him into a hug. The warmth from the contact and the bonfire seeps into and wraps around him like a cloak. Around them, the camp is silent, the hunters having retired for the night. It's been 7 months since Percy started getting his life back on track. And very often he feels like he's made no progress at all. But when he looks at himself in the mirror, he can visibly see how much better he's doing. For one, his appetite is almost back to normal. And for two, he's become much better at talking about what bothers him. He still gets sudden urges to starve but he's learnt to ask for help on those days. He still struggles to say what he needs but he's much better than he used to be. 

"Progress isn't linear, Percy." Thalia chides gently, bumping shoulders with him the next day, when he complains about how little he's done in such a long time and how every step forward feels like three steps backward. 

"You're probably going to be learning to live and forgive till you die," Thalia shrugs, "That's just how life is. And it's not just you. We're all learners, we all struggle and we'll be learners till we die," she throws the pebble she'd been fiddling with into the lake they'd stumbled across. It skips four times before it sinks into the water. Thalia throws up her fist in victory.

Percy mulls over it, doesn't crack a joke about how wise Thalia sounds because being stuck as a tree for the most part of your life probably teaches you a thing or two about life. He nudges Thalia back and throws his own pebble.

It skips six times and Percy has enough time to let out a cheerful "whoop" before Thalia pushes him into the lake. 

A whole year later, on one of the good days, Percy lays awake at 2 am. Selene is snuggled next to him, quietly keeping him company on the bed, like she always is and Percy is hugging her like a child would a plushie. Their telepathic link is calm so it's a bit of a shock to Selene when Percy suddenly talks.

I think it's time to go back to Camp Half Blood.

Selene lifts her head up from Percy's shoulder to make eye contact.

Really? Are you sure, little one?

Percy smiles, and even in the dim light of the full moon, Selene can see how genuine it is. It used to be so plastic before. 

I'm sure. It's time to set some things right. 

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Hi, hello. Omg, I can't believe I really came back after a year to update this. For real though, this update wasn't planned. I haven't even been using Wattpad but I needed a break from real life so I popped in. I saw all the comments and interactions and was pleasantly surprised.

IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE I STARTED THIS. 

I really cannot believe that some of you are still around for this. 

For all your support, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This fic somehow ended up becoming a way for me to project all my issues lol so I hope you're not too disappointed.

The first 7 months of 2021 was hard for me. And I'm sure I'm not alone in this. I hope life is treating you all well. No matter how hard it gets, and no matter what you're dealing with, I sincerely wish you'll never give up. I'm cheering you on!  You are doing great and things will get better for you. 

I'm hoping to finish my first and (probably only) fic before the year ends. For all our sakes, I hope I manage to do that lol. 

Love you all vvvv much! I hope you love yourself too!

Take care and stay safe! TIll the next update! 💙