#1 Annie x F!Self-Harming!Reader

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Suburbia_Angel helped write this!

Type: Angst

Reader: Fem!Self Harming

Title: Why?

!TRIGGER WARNING MENTIONS OF
SELF HARM
SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
AND POSSIBLE GORE!

2/2/21

Y/n's POV

After we lost Trost to the titans... I didn't care about anything. I had lost my best friend.. watched her get eaten... I couldn't do anything... I was so powerless... It was all my fault.. she pushed me out of the way... I gave up.. I was gonna let the titan eat me.. but the titan fell before it could. I looked to see Annie.

"What are you doing here?" She asks. I don't respond. She sighs walks over to me.

"Hey, I'm talking to you" She says. I look at her with dead eyes. There was no life in them whatsoever. She then picked me up and begin moving around with her ODM gear

Why...?

~Time skip~

I've tried ending it all multiple times, and everytime Annie is always there. I tried walking straight into a titan's mouth. She killed it. I tried walking of the walls. She grabbed me and brought me to everyone else. She always had that same bored look on her face

Why?

Soon after I began cutting. She couldn't stop me from doing that if I was in private by myself. I entered the bathroom and quickly locked the door. I pulled out a pocket knife and began to cut my arm.

Finally... I can feel something.. I'm in control

I cut again.

You're the reason she's dead.

Again

If you had paid attention, she'd be alive

Again

You just watched. Didn't even try to help her

I began to cry as I had cut to deep. Blood began to run down my arms.

Maybe I'll finally get a release. I'll be free

I watched the blood drip onto the floor

You're worthless

Drip

You're a waste of space

Drip

You should just do it already

Drip

You're gonna get someone else killed

By this point there was a small puddle of blood on the floor. You continued to sob. You then heard someone knock on the door

"Y/n? I know you're in there. Open the door" Annie says

Why? Why do you always have to stop me. I'm so close

"Why? Just let me die" I say as my voice cracks. She stops knocking.

I'll be able to rest

I then hear the door bust open. I look over to see Annie walk in. Same bored look on her face. She turned to me and I had seen something I've never seen her do before. She had a look of worry

"Y/n? What happened?" She asks as she looks at me. I don't respond. She grabs 2 rags and applies pressure on the cuts. The blood soaks through. I start getting light headed and a smile appears on my face

Finally

Annie's face grows more concerned. She picks me up bridal style and begins running.

"You will not die, do you hear me" She says trying not to cry. I look at her

Why do you care?

My eyes get really heavy.

"Keep your eyes open. We're almost there.. please" She says as tears stream down her face.

"Why are you crying?" I ask.

"Because I love you!" She says as she kicks the infirmary door open.

"Help her now!" Annie says crying. Annie lays me on a bed. I begin closing my eyes

"Stay awake...please" someone says as I pass out.

~Next Morning~

I wake up in an infirmary. I feel something on my stomach. I look and see Annie sleeping. Her head on my stomach. I then thought back to her words

'Because I love you' was she just saying that so I'd stop? That's probably why

I see a scalpel. I pick it up even though my arms are in a lot of pain. I didn't notice that Annie had woken up until the scalpel was taken out of my hands.

"Y/n... please" She says..

She's lying to you. No one could love you

"Stop lying to me. I don't need your pity" I say. She looks hurt by my words

"You think I said that because I pity you? I said that because I meant it Y/n" She says.

"No you don't... no one could love me" I say. Before I knew it there were lips on my own. I was so shocked at the fact Annie was kissing me. She broke away and looked at me.

"I love you, I really do" She says as she starts crying again. I feel really guilty and all I can say is

"I'm sorry..." I say
(770 Words)

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