#2 Erwin x F!Self Harming!Reader

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Requested by Tobytiel

Type: Angst with a happy ending/Modern AU

Reader: Fem!Self Harming

Title: Job Loss

Disclaimer-
TRIGGERING TOPICS SUCH AS:
SELF HARM
will be discussed. Also Self-harm is a serious thing and should not be romanticized. I have never dealt with self harm so this may not be entirely accurate. If you are struggling with self harm, just know there are people who are willing to help you! Also avoid trauma dumping in the comments. It makes me highly uncomfortable /srs

Y/n's POV

I had just gotten a call from work saying I had been laid off. Apparently they didn't have enough money to pay me so they fired me.

How am I supposed to pay rent this month? I was barely surviving with the pay as it is.. Now what?

I had been clean for months. I'm not sure how I managed to stop the first time. Maybe it was the fear of someone finding out.. Erwin finding out... he doesn't know about the scars or my old bad habits.. without him knowing, he was one of the motivators that helped me stop. I looked over to see a pair of scissors.

Maybe just once- No! You don't need to, you can't throw away all that time you spent not doing it

I walked into my bedroom and sat on the bed as tears streamed down my face. I felt awful, I wanted the pain to stop. It felt like everything was closing in on me.

I need relief.. just a little... just once..

I opened the drawer and pulled out the pocket knife. I went to the bathroom since I didn't want blood on the carpet. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked pathetic, trembling as I held the pocket knife. I looked at my arm to see healed scars.

I don't need to do this... but I'll feel relief... It'll only be once...

Erwin's POV

I had just entered Y/n's apartment. I wanted to take her on a surprise date. I walked to Y/n's room where I heard sobbing. I quickened my pace

Is she alright?

I opened the bathroom door to see Y/n facing the mirror. She quickly turns around and stares at me in pure horror. I took in the image infront of me. Y/n was sobbing as she she held a pocket knife to her wrist. I then noticed the healed scars on her arms. She dropped the knife as she curled into a ball. I looked at her with sympathy as I walked over. I sat down next to her and pulled her into my lap. I rubbed her back to try and comfort her as she sobbed. She gripped onto my shirt as she continued crying

"What's going on?" I ask

"I... got laid off... and I don't have... enough money... to pay rent... I'm gonna... get kicked out..." She says in between sobs. I intertwine one of my hands with hers

"You can stay with me" I say

"No, no, no I can't... do that" She says crying

"Why not?" I ask

"I'm a mess... You're disgusted... aren't you? You saw... right? You... deserve better... and I can't put... that kind of stress... on you.." She says sobbing

"I'm not disgusted with you, I love you just the same as I did before. Plus I was planning on taking you on a date today so I could ask you to move in with me" I say. She looked at me with wide eyes

"But...why?" She asks. I looked at her confused

"Because I love you, now come on. Let's get you cleaned up" I say as I help her stand up. I make sure to subtly kick the pocket knife away.

"Ok..." She says

(633 words)
4/22/21

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