Addicted to You

37

a/n: welcome to all of the BAU getting blazed as shit. and then the younger members getting drunk as fuck and playing 'true american' from new girl because that shit is hilarious.

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Atticus and Spencer were sitting on their roof as the sunset before their friends got there, her head resting on his shoulder as they talked about mindless nothings. Then, she hit him with something unexpected.

"Ya know, what? This gonna sound absolutely fucking crazy, but I was thinking I would get sober."

"Really?", he laughed.

"Yeah. I figured maybe it's finally time to get my shit together."

"What has led you to this epiphany?"

"I don't fucking know."

"When was the last time you were even completely sober?"

"How old am I again?"

"33."

"Oh shit. Then, like--19-ish years ago.", she was silent for a minute, "Fuck. This is gonna be a lot harder than it sounds, isn't it?"

"Probably. But you can do it."

"Oh my God. What am I gonna do with all those bongs? It's like a fucking collection at this point. I can't just throw them all away."

"Wait a minute, you're telling me you're gonna be sober tonight and at the wedding?"

"Fuck no. I'm gonna black the fuck out tonight. Consider it my blaze of glory.", she giggled.

"Right, so I assume it'll be the same for our wedding day."

"No, that's a day I would actually like to remember. Ooh, that sounds so weird. I haven't had many of those."

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After sitting around the table for a little bit, Atticus got up and came back with a box.

"Ok, who's ready to hotbox the shit out of this house? I mean, obviously, whoever does not want to partake doesn't have to.", no one responded, "Great.", she started to pull stuff out of the box as she talked, "For more experienced smokers, aka, Emily, Penelope, sometimes Derek, and maybe Rossi--we have bongs and dabs. We also have joints, blunts, I have to roll those though, rose petal joints, and edibles for anyone who doesn't wanna smoke. Oh, I also have Sativa, Indica, and combo."

"Where do you even get all this shit. You literally have everything.", Emily chuckled.

"Collection over my many years as a stoner."

She got up again to retrieve water, both to fill up the bongs and dab rigs but also for anyone that coughed like all hell. Att took a hit off the dab rig and coughed, "Holy fuck, that shit's so much stronger than I remembered. God fucking damn."

She, Emily, and Derek passed around the bong for a few hits. JJ, Penelope, and Spencer nursing a rose petal joint. Rossi with a blunt eventually passing it to Hotch a few times who was a little more hesitant.

"Ok, what was the last time everyone got high?", Penny was somehow even more bubbly.

"Yesterday.", Atti giggled.

"Like...last month.", Spencer replied.

"Maybe two weeks ago-ish.", Emily laughed.

"It's been a minute.", Morgan started, "Like, two months ago maybe."