Addicted to You

15

Derek, Emily, and Spencer went back to Atticus' apartment, desperate to find something, anything that could lead them to her. Prentiss pulled open a drawer that belonged to the bedside table. She turned to Reid, "What's this?". she held up a notebook that was covered in a messy collage.

"Her journal."

"What's in it?"

"I have no clue. She told me that I'm--", he smiled, "quote, 'Forbidden from understanding her deepest feelings'".

"We should probably look through it though right?"

"You guys can, I think she'd be upset if she knew I read through it."

A little while later Spencer walked towards Emily, "How's it going?"

"So far, nothing helpful. Most of this stuff is just about you", she giggled.

"What? How do you know?"

"She marks every page that's about you with your initials in the top left corner.", Prentiss smiled, "She really likes you, ya know?"

"What does it say?"

"I thought you didn't wanna know"

"One or two pages won't hurt"

"I'll just tell you the last two I read then", she flipped back a page and began to recite Atti's stanza's aloud.

"Sorry I didn't kiss you.

But it's obvious I wanted to.

Bubblegum down my throat and it's a curse

But my luck couldn't get any worse

'Cause I swallowed the bubblegum

Oh, and these next seven years will be pretty dumb

Pink flowers grow from my skin

Peptol Bismol veins and I grin

You look so nice in your shirt

It's sad because it just hurts

I'd do anything for you

But would you do that for me, too?"

"When was that written"

"July 29th"

Spencer blew a laugh through his nose, "And to think I had no clue she even liked me. What's the next one?"

"This one is from--September 30th", she cleared her throat and started.

"Space boy, I saw a lunar eclipse

Looked like how I feel 'bout your lips

Space boy, the only way that we'd end

Was if you were sucked into a black hole

And I'd still spend my days dreaming 'bout you

Dreaming 'bout you"

"This girl really got it bad for you, huh pretty boy?", Morgan nudged him and Spencer blushed.

"Guys look at this", Emily interjected. They gathered around the notebook and saw a page covered in red scratchy handwriting. There were small tears throughout the page where Atticus had presumably pressed too hard. Spencer reached out for the book and started to read through the page.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK! I don't understand how this is possible. I've gone completely out of my way to avoid this exact fucking situation! I've lived in seven different states! I've been deployed overseas six fucking times! And yet, still--still he's found a way to fuck up my life. I haven't seen the motherfucker in twelve god damn years, and then suddenly he just tracks me down and calls me out of nowhere? Who the fuck does he think he is? I'm twenty-fucking-seven and just starting to learn how good life can be but, of course, I couldn't have that either. I should've known. I was so busy getting caught up with that stupid, annoyingly adorable boy that I let my guard down. And now I'm fucked. I feel bad for snapping at him because I know he means well, but I just can't--I can't risk him being in danger too. I know how much he wants to help, but I can't let him. Although, if something does happen I'm sure he's reading this. Hi, Spencer:) I know your big brain is probably clouded with worries right now, but I'll be ok. There is absolutely no fucking way I am dying at the hands of my dead beat, piece of shit father. Please don't just run off to try and find me yourself, you work with the best of the best for a reason. Remember to work together and don't shut them out, even if you're frustrated. I hope I haven't been gone too long, but also stop reading this and go fucking find me dipshit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After an hour and a half of more research, they were finally able to pinpoint where Atticus was. As they drove Spencer's phone rang, he put it on speaker and patched Garcia in.

"Spencer?", her voice sounded weaker.

"Yeah, I'm here. Are you ok?"

"I think"

"Listen, we're eleven minutes away from you, so just hang on for me, ok?"

"I'm sorry"

"You don't have to be sorry"

She winced and let out a loud groan of pain before sniffling and taking a deep breath, "I love you."

"Wait, no!", Spencer was met with the haunting sound of the dial tone, "Atticus?!", he let out a frustrated groan of his own, "Damn it.", he said under his breath through clenched teeth.

Hotch swerved in front of the cabin and he, Spencer, Morgan, and JJ ran inside.

"Clear", Hotch called.

"Clear", Morgan responded.

JJ and Reid busted through the basement door. JJ held out her gun, "FBI, freeze.", she recited aiming it at the man that stood in front of Atticus. He put his hands up slowly and JJ cuffed him. Spencer ran over to Atticus and freed her from the cuffs that were dangling from the ceiling. She was drenched in water, cuts, and bruises all over her face, and a knife sticking out of her torso with blood dripping down her chin. She collapsed backward, gasping as she coughed up blood. Spencer caught her and sat down on the floor with her propped up in her lap, "JJ! Get a medic!"

Atti's eyes flickered open and shut, Spencer stroked her hair gently, "Hey, keep your eyes open, ok?"

A small smile spread across her face and she nodded.

"Atti?"

"Mhm"

"Did you only say you love me because you were afraid you were gonna die"

She laughed weakly, "No, I said I love you because I mean it. I know I'm not gonna die, and even if I was I've never been afraid of dying."

"Really?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Because you once jumped on top of your kitchen counter and screamed at me to get a bug away from you, and when I looked it was the world's tiniest spider", he laughed.

"That's different"

"How?"

"You have no right to talk, you're twenty-eight and still afraid of the dark", she laughed again but choked up some more blood.

Att fell silent and her eyes blinked slower, "Hey, hey what are you doing silly?", Spencer giggled.

"Sleepy", she muttered and her head fell down.

"I know you are, but you have to stay awake for me, ok?", he cupped her face and squeezed her cheeks together, knowing it would earn a giggle from her.

"Excuse me, sir, we need her flat on her back", one of the paramedics instructed. Spencer carefully got up from underneath her and gently placed her head on the ground.

One of the paramedics kneeled over her while the other hooked her up to monitor her vitals, "Atticus, can you hear me?"

Atti's eyes went blank and she didn't respond, "BP's dropping"

"Ok, we need to get her up to the ambulance"

The rest of Spencer's team stood outside and watched as he frantically listened to the increasing beeping of the monitors. He stood in front of them for a second, his mind empty as he tried to process everything that was happening.

"Kid, what are you doing? Go with her", Rossi scolded.

"Yeah, we'll be right behind you", Morgan reassured him. Reid nodded in return and got into the back of the ambulance with her.

"Oh, and Spence, breathe.", JJ reminded him, "She needs you right now"

He nodded and tried to catch his breath, "Right"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lyric Credit:

Bubblegum- Clairo

Space Girl- Frances Forever