Zach's Institute for Disturbed Boys (MxM+ Poly)

~Chapter 6~

E D E N

I can't do this anymore, I feel like my mind I'd eating me up. All I hear are voices in my head and I don't know how to stop them. I've been here for a week, a whole week and I've figured out one thing.

They probably didnt want me to know, but I did. I found out they were all in a 10 way polyamory relationship. Yes, 10 excluding me that is, I mean even Zach was in, but that didn't shock me at all. I was fine with it, there it was again me trying to convince myself like they gave a fuck.

My eyes that had some kind of spark? in the first half of my first day there was a distant memory. I had shared either a cute or intimate moment with each of them. I can't name all of them but I know I did, all that except Killian, he just hates me. Keagan did convince me that day and I took it into consideration, I may be fucked in the head, but rude is one thing I'm not.

Looking back a day or two ago I shouldn't have tried to talk to him, I really regret it, very much. It hurt he thought of me like that, I said shit I shouldn't have too. He did things he shouldn't have and triggered thoughts that should be left untouched.

-Two days ago-

E D E N

After the moment with Keagan I want to try and figure him out, I didn't want him to hate me anymore. I search for him everywhere I couldn't find him, so I went to the back of the institute.

He was there leaning against the wall, with a cigarette in his hands an smoke blowing out. He finally notice my presence "What the fuck do you want?" He stood straight from where he was leaning on. "I-i um" I couldn't spit out the words, I was terrified of him, but at the same time I liked him.

"Spit it out" He inched closer, I wanted to take a step back, but I wouldn't stop at a step, I would run. My voice betrayed me, I open my mouth and closed it like a fish out of water.

He didn't like that, he grabbsd me by the collar and slammed into the hard wall. My eyes widen and my breathe hitched getting caught in throat. "Listen here, I don't know where the fuck you came from, but you need to go back there". He says with obvious disgust in his voice. Years of being bullied left me with a sharp tongue.

"Well, you're gonna have to give me the money " I retort landing me with a punch to the stomach. I open my mouth as bile rises up to my stomach. "Obviously need to teach you a lesson"
He punches me again, twice. This point I cough out blood.

"You act like you got shit on everyone here, but you know its not true, everyone does" He says, what is he talking about? "I know you're faking it, all those cuts. Danny told us not to make you sad. Poor little Eden has depression. Like hell I'll believe it" He picks me up again and throws me. I start coughing clutching my stomach.

"What, did you get bullied too?" He blows on his cigarette and let's ths smoke out before kicking my stomach. "S-stop" I stutter out in pain. "Stop? Don't make me laugh. Don't fucking tell me what to do" he grabs me by my hair this time as my eyes scrunch up.

"You see you're just as worthless as the smoke that comes out of my cigarette" He waves it in my face, I move my head away. "W-why are you doing this to me?" I say my voice coming out raspy. "Oh, cause I want to, I figured you might have notice, but we are all dating, I love each and every on of them, Just. Not. You" he says the last part poking me in throat chest.

"We all saw what happened when you arrived at the institute with you parents, doesn't take a detective to figure out, you're being abused at home, so let's just say I'm giving them a hand" he says with a sadistic smile. I cough and it accidentally gets on him. He throws me to the wall and cleans his face.

I slide down at slump to the ground. "Haha, wanna try your luck at being raped too?" He laughs out, my once pained expression turned into one of fear. "Let's see how much you can fake it" no he wouldn't, he wouldn't go that far.

He grabs me and rips my shirt off. No no stop, I don't want this, I'm scared. He turns me over and slams my face into the ground making my ass up in the air. I struggle in his grasp, but he doesn't budge. He pulls down my pants and that's when the flashes go by.

"Fucking stay still and be a bitch" he pushed my head to the cold bathroom floor"

I start panting "No!" I shout and he pushes my face to ground more. My voice was muffled, he touches my nipple, but I was so far away from feeling pleasure. I started screaming into the ground and he smacked me .

"What the fuck did I just say?" He smacks me into the toilet.

I start trembling vigorously and crying like I've have had before. Being raped the first time was scaring, but being forced to re-live it and by the person you love was ruthless.

My cries could be heard even if my head was in the ground. It was a mixture of please, stop, I'm sorry, I won't do it again, etc. Just anything that would tell me to let me go.

He seems to have noticed I wasn't lying and kidding, it was real. He paused before releasing his grip. Hs backs off so I could sit up. I was sat kneeled down, facing the wall that he shoved me into. I has clutched my shirt to my chest and was trembling even more than before. Tears and dirt had stained my eyes, my scars on full display. I was breathing like there was not tomorrow.

I wanted to laugh at how pathetic I was, so I did. It wasn't a funny laugh, you could have mistake this for a laugh of fun, it was pain and anger that forced it out. I turned my face to him and smiled It wasn't a sadistic smile, it was one you would give at a funeral when you want to say goodbye "Have you gotten what you wanted?" My voice cracked out.

"I tried you know... Killing myself, hell just rejected me, like everyone else. I'm trying my best to stay stable for god knows who, I tried. All I ever did was walk in here, I tried to fake everything out, with a slight chance of me actually getting liked, not only did that fail, I made people sad. Here I was thinking the guys actually cared for me, but you cleared my vision for me. I did deserve what my parents did to me, I did deserve to be bullied, I did to rapes too, I deserve all this. No one would love me, no one ever did and I don't want to love anyone either, I don't deserve it. I'm tired, of everything, I'm so tired, I don't want to be alive anymore, you may hate me, but I hate myself more. You know I look up and see those birds and can't help, but wish I was like that. I'm tired" in each and every word I said, my voice cracked and my emotions that I tried to keep under wrap had spilled. He just looked wide eyesd.

"I'm going to go" that was the last word I said before getting up. I pull my pants up and held my turn chest to cover myself. I could hear laughters  from where I was getting closer to the door "No really I should have thought about it before kissing Eden back" Danny said I could tell he was drunk. "No shit, Idiot" Liam slured out.

"The bitch, how dare he kiss you" Levi slurred out too. "Don't be mean guy" I heard Kory's voice say and he started laughing, so did everyone else. Nathan, Zach, Levi, Kory, Keagan, Mason, Laim, Danny, and Raven all there laughing at me.

I saw Killian in the side of my eyes with a conflicted look, before he walked in with into the room with the others. They cheered and called to him.

I couldn't go back in so I just slid down the cold wall and sat there. I dont want to think about it, I just want my bed. In about and 3 hours all thee noised died down and I peeked in and they were all pasted out on the floor. I silently walked in and walked up the stairs.

I went to bathroom and cut. It no longer relieved me, it felt painless and numb. After that I clean up my self and went to bed.

I cried while writing the piece Eden said. Well I guess let's start with the drama. I hoped you enjoyed

Bye!!