First Glance ( A Toby McDonough Fanfic)

♕ F I F T E E N ♕

CHAPTER 15: UNINTENTIONAL

TOBY

I haven't been myself since this week started. I don't want people around me - only my brothers have been keeping up with my attitude. When I found out about that Paige and I accidentally texted Mick during our conversation that one night I felt so embarrassed about how I never had the courage to walk up to her and say that I'm completely, over the top that I have fallen for her since day one. I made things worse by now - ignoring her, lying to her about asking someone else out for prom. If it makes her feel a lot better, no one knows about any of these. I saw her once hanging out with Shannon, and I'm quite glad she found her girl best friend, I know she told her what she feels.

I've been a jerk to her. I promised her that no boy would ever hurt her just like Paul and her other ex-boyfriend did - but here I am breaking that. What hurts most is to hurt someone you love without you knowing that it kills her, breaks me.

I watched her cry and run away from those girls, I know for a fact that she cried because of me, because I did this to her. I don't even know how to properly approach her and say what I feel. I'm afraid that if I did she would look at me differently, that she won't trust me because I broke that. I knew she never wanted t be close to a guy.

"Toby, History's over," my thoughts were interrupted by the girl who sat next to me.

"Uh, right, Thank you," I simply said and went for the door. I saw Mick looking at me, her brown eyes that once sparkled turned dull and red, the under eye circles became more prominent, signaling the sleepless nights she had because of me. I never actually thought of the damage I have done to her until I saw her now.

I wanted to come up to her and hug her but I thought for a moment thinking what would I even say. Our eyes meet and I all I could see was sadness and hope at the same time. Seeing her hopeless made me feel guilty and cruel that I have been pushing and pushing her to her breaking point. I know that if this continues, our friendship would soon fade. I don't care about losing our friendship, I'm not afraid of that - what I'm scared of, is that one day she will be the one that I will lose and I can't even bear the thought about that.

I looked away and headed out not even bother to look back. I accidentally bumped into someone, I looked up and good thing that it was just my brother, Connor. He eyed me up and down and looked at someone behind me. I turned around and it was Mickaela. I saw her gave Connor the faintest smile and he returned it. I noticed how she lost weight, was she not eating? I felt pain behind my back as Connor slapped it. I guess I deserve that.

"What is wrong with you? Did you think that I won't find out? It was weird when you asked me to accompany her to school. Why? Because you guys have been so close and it was a struggle to even separate you two. Paige told me, yes, she hasn't been eating properly. Yes, she has been having sleepless night because she was calling me at two in the morning asking me what she did wrong. You have to fix this, I tolerated you for this whole week because I was giving you time to finally walk up to her and apologize but it has gone way too far Toby, fix this whole mess or you'll regret that you've fallen for her," Connor stated, annoyance in his voice. I don't even know what to say by now.

The day went by horribly, I was so lost. I don't even know what fun is right now. My phone has been vibrating more this week, the fans may have noticed but I just wanted to keep things personal.

"Everything's fine - everything's okay. I just hope..." I sent that tweet and by a couple of minutes I noticed how they tagged me with '#YouWIllGetThroughTobe'.

It was lovely having them by my side but I just wish that, the one last girl to complete it was beside me, poking my cheek and continuously bombarding me.

I got home quietly, Connor doesn't even acknowledge my presence - I guess he's still mad at me. Who wouldn't be, even I, am mad at me.

I got settled in bed, doing homework for the day. I was done before dinner even started. I grabbed my phone and was about to call Mick but my mom called me down for supper. Dinner was so awkward having Connor sat across me. Everything was going well until,

"Toby fought with Mickaela," Connor surprisingly said as I shot an irritated glare at him. Everybody at the dinner table stared at me. Confusion filled their eyes along with the question, why.

"Can we just finish dinner? Mom, I need to talk to you after," I said as I finished and I headed upstairs.

I was on my guitar, writing a song, a poem, even a letter to just express how sorry I am to Mickaela but I don't even know to possibly give it to her. I heard a knock on my door signaling it was my Mom. I asked her to come in and she did. She sat at the end of my bed and asked me to come closer, I did.

"Now what happened?" She asked me about Mickaela. I explained to her every detail, with every ounce of emotion that has been building up inside of me. By the night was even over, I was already crying to my mom.

She said that I won't ever lose Mick just as long as I prove it to her that she's worth keeping. She made me think of how she would feel if I showed her how lucky I was to have her - to show her how I appreciate what she's done an how sorry I truly am.

The night was going well for me and I finally had the courage to walk up to her at school tomorrow and do just that but something stopped me. MIckaela texted.

"Uhm.. Toby? I know that we haven't talked in quite some time and I think that it was only fair for me to even tell you this because I think you deserve to know. Even though... Anyway, I'll be going back to Vancouver with my parents after prom.. for a quick vacation. So...that's it.. sorry to even bother you... I know you don't like my presence right now and understand.. I just want to know why... Sorry again but yea... I'll be gone for a month or less

All the love (I think) -Adams"

She was leaving for almost a whole month. Does this mean I'm losing her too? I question myself as the tears fall.