If I Knew Then

Chapter 43: Downpour

Nick was not sure if he was excited or not when he heard that they were having rehearsals for tour at the end of June. Part of him wondered if Brian would be up for it after his surgery a month and a half ago. They hadn't really talked much since Nick had given Leighanne the letter. Nick knew that Leighanne wanted him to stay away, and he did for the most part. He and Brian had texted a little bit but it wasn't much, it was mostly asking him how he was doing. Nick didn't ask about Leighanne and didn't bring up the letter because he was afraid. He was afraid that she had done what he thought she would do, and he didn't want the awkward conversation that would follow. So he kept quiet. That day in June when Brian walked into the rehearsal hall, Nick didn't go up to him right away. He watched the others to see what kind of mood Brian would be in on his first day back.

"Hey, look who it is!" Howie exclaimed, walking up to him and giving him a high five. Brian looked thin still, pale but not the way he looked in the hospital bed. Nick sat on the stage, his legs dangling off the side as he observed.

"Hey, D. I missed you guys so much. You should have come to visit." Brian said, not making eye contact with anybody. He was looking over at Nick in the corner, feeling nervous. Nick looked good, almost the same as he did the last time they'd seen each other in the recording studio when they had that fight.

"Oh, I actually thought about it. I called your phone but Leighanne said you were resting so I didn't want to bother you." Howie explained.

"I'm sorry she told you that. I'm coming to find there was a lot she was keeping from me while I was home and recovering. I'm so sorry, Howie."

"No, you don't need to apologize to us. All we wanted was for you to get better. Nick was the one who worried the most, I think. He wouldn't stop talking about you." Kevin interrupted. Brian stole another glance at Nick, who was desperately trying not to look like he was staring at him. He laughed at how stubborn Nick was. He was not good at hiding and lying at all.

"I also blame my girlfriend for a lot of it. I am really sorry." Brian said again. Kevin hugged him and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Nick's really nervous about seeing you so I would hold off for a little bit."

Brian nodded. He knew why Nick was so nervous.

"I noticed Leighanne isn't here with you. Did she decide not to come?" AJ asked.

"No, she didn't come with me." Brian said, deciding to not tell anyone they'd broken up for now until he told Nick. He just needed to get Nick alone and away from the others so they could talk but he knew that would not be easy. Nick didn't say more than one or two words to him during their rehearsal, which Brian was frustrated and sad about. They took things easy at first because nobody knew how Brian was going to respond to their dance steps or singing again, having had the surgery and been out of things for two months.

"Are you okay? Do you need a break?" Kevin asked when he saw him looking a little winded.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just need some water." Brian said, wiping some sweat out of his eyes. He had been working up to today while at home, using a treadmill and even walking or practicing at home in addition to his therapy that he was doing. He wanted to prove to himself that he was ready to resume the tour. He wanted to go back on the road and perform more than anything. He knew he couldn't rush things and had to take them day by day and it was even harder when he did most of it on his own. Once Leighanne had left, he was able to simply focus on healing and making himself better. That was one of the reasons he had not contacted Nick right away or tried to reach out to him, he needed some time to himself to figure himself out. In that time after his girlfriend left, he'd done some self discovering.