If I Knew Then

Chapter 46: This Is Us

As the US tour started, Nick thought things would be smooth sailing now that he and Brian had come out to the other boys, but he was wrong. They still had to hide their budding relationship from the public. The other guys were very supportive of them and gave them their space when they needed to be alone, which Nick appreciated. He was still nervous about anyone else finding out about them, and would be skittish when they were in a venue and stealing kisses in the dressing room. 

"Brian we really need to get ready…" Nick laughed between kisses. They'd already been interrupted once by AJ coming into the bathroom. 

"Hold this until later, then." Brian whispered as he kissed him again. Nick laughed as the door knob to the dressing room made noise, startling them. 

"Just the two I wanted to see. Am I interrupting anything, boys?" he said, looking at them angrily. Both of their faces were bright red because they’d been caught. 

“It’s not what it looks like…” Brian started, but their manager put a hand up. 

“Save the bullshit, Littrell. how stupid do you think I am? Sit down.” 

"Please let us explain-“ Nick interrupted, his face redder still. 

“Let me say what I need to say first.” 

"Our offices got a call this morning from your ex girlfriend. She had some interesting information to share with us." Johnny replied. Brian exchanged looks with Nick because they’d both been dreading this since Brian dumped Leighanne two months ago. 

Nick felt as if he were going to throw up, like he had gotten punched in the stomach. He knew what had happened already. 

“Johnny, let us explain…” Nick started again but their manager didn’t want to hear any of it. He was angry. Usually Johnny had been the calmer of their two managers, but now that Lou was out of the picture most of the responsibility had fallen onto Johnny. He’d become mean over the last few months since BSB had started the lawsuit against Trans Continental Records. When Lou was fired they had taken Johnny as their manager but now Nick and Brian were seeing that this was a huge mistake. 

“Judging by the looks on your faces and what I just saw, I would say her information is true. How long were you planning on keeping this a secret? Do you know what this could do to your careers right now?” Johnny shouted. Nick looked as if he were near tears and it only angered Brian. 

“We don’t care about that. We want to be together. I broke up with Leighanne because she was using me. Nick helped me to see that. I love him. I don’t care what you do to me. Fire me if you want to. I’m gay, Johnny. I’m gay, and that’s not about to change.” Brian shouted, getting in Johnny’s face. 

“Brian, remember what the doctor said about stress…” Nick whispered, pulling Brian’s arm gently to seperate them. Brian tugged it back. 

“Not now, Nick. He needs to hear this. I told you the same thing, I’m done hiding. This is us. This is who we are. If he doesn’t like who we are, then he can manage another band.” Brian snapped. Nick realized that Brian was right. He needed to stop hiding too.

“Don’t you have anything to say, Carter?” Johnny asked.

“I am gay. I love Brian, he loves me and we don’t care what you think about it. Take it or leave it.” Nick said sternly, taking Brian’s hand in his. 

Johnny raised his eyebrows. 

“Okay, gentlemen...so what do you propose we do about this situation? You dumped that woman and she’s going to expose everything if we don’t act on it right now. Your secret is about to leak out. She didn’t just tell us. She’s going to press. They’ve been trying to contact us for statements all day.”