If I Knew Then

Chapter 15: Seeing Red

August was a very busy month for the Backstreet Boys with their US debut album releasing. All of a sudden everyone realized they existed and they were booked solid for most of the month. Once Canada started playing their song Quit Playing Games With My Heart, it suddenly got picked up by radio stations in the US and things straight blew up. The summer seemed to go great with the small festivals they were doing and by the end of August they were back overseas, Leighanne coming along for the ride because Brian needed her company.

Rather, she almost insisted she come and only she and Nick knew the reason why. They were trying to convince Brian he was getting sick but he was still being stubborn. Another thing was becoming apparent with the group as well, the fact that Lou Pearlman had taken another singing group under his wing.

"This is such bullshit, I can't stand it. Why doesn't anyone else see a problem with what he's doing?" Brian hissed when he came in the hotel room to find his girlfriend watching TV, or trying to watch TV in German.

"What is the matter? Come here." Leighanne said softly, motioning him over to the bed. Brian was very angry, more angry than she'd seen him in a long time. She immediately began to massage his shoulders as she let him rant. His shoulders and back were so tense it was like feeling a wooden plank and she worried about him even more than she did before. Brian was running himself ragged.

"That fat bastard is not only doesn't give a shit about our health, but he is managing another group like us. He pretty much told us they think they're better than we are, too."

He breathed in and exhaled, feeling his chest throbbing from the stress. His anxiety was high today after seeing Lou and Johnny talk about the other group when they thought nobody was listening.

"Babe, you need to calm down. You are going to worry yourself sick. If you would just go see a doctor, you-"

That was the key word. At the sound of the word "doctor" Brian got up, pushing her away. The last thing he needed was another lecture like Nick was always giving him, the ones where Nick would pester him and ask him what was wrong. The truth was, he was getting worse and there wasn't enough time to figure anything out. They were in the middle of a tour, and were in the process of scheduling more US shows for their first real tour there. Rehearsals would come after that, and then recording another album. There was literally no option to take any time off, no option to rest or even go to a doctor. He had to keep pushing forward for the group even though it was killing him.

"Hello, boys. Sleep well?" Lou asked them all at breakfast one morning, at some big restaurant in Germany. Everyone was getting settled at the table and sleepily exchanged greetings with Lou, who sat at the head of the table. Brian rolled his eyes and nobody noticed but Kevin, who nudged him under the table with his foot.

"Everything is great, Lou. What's new? You said you wanted to talk to us about something?" Kevin piped up as the waitress took orders.

Brian almost spit out his coffee in disbelief at his cousin going along with their manager after he'd been trying to convince the other guys that Lou wasn't what he seemed. Nobody seemed to be listening and it frustrated him beyond belief.

"Boys, I am arranging a basketball game between you and my other group, NSYNC- for charity."

A collective groan escaped from everyone.

"Look, I know they don't like you but you have to do this event. It's good press. It will make a lot of money for charity."

"More like make money to line your pockets." Brian thought to himself sourly. He kept wondering the whole time if the money would actually go to charity or not. What else was their manager hiding from them? Brian had been poking around and what he was finding was unsettling. He hadn't been telling the guys much but he wanted to talk to Lou privately and maybe get him to make things right before it got worse and they all walked. Brian could definitely see himself quitting the group if the others did not agree with the fact that their manager was screwing them over.