If I Knew Then

Chapter 3: A Glimpse Into The Future

"You guys, this music video is going to be awesome." Nick said, walking into the airplane hangar that they'd rented for the video shoot of As Long As You Love Me. The concept of the video had been discussed back and forth and the guys were pretty excited to see how it would all unfold.

"I wonder what kind of girls they got for us, huh Nick? They are coming soon. You can be my wingman since you are a bachelor again."AJ said, elbowing him. Nick smiled but rolled his eyes when he wasn't looking. He became aware Brian was watching suddenly and he coughed.

"I didn't know you and Mandy split. I thought you liked her." Brian said.

"Nick wants to play the field." AJ said. Nick wanted to hit him, he'd told him that he wasn't interested in a relationship and needed to be on his own for a while. This lie was so good he believed it. The truth was, he wasn't sure what he wanted.

"Uh...I'm not really looking for anyone. Mandy and I just broke up like...last weekend." Nick lied. He hadn't totally fibbed but in fact they'd broken up two days ago. It was messy because Nick had told her he just wasn't interested in a relationship right now. He was still figuring things out and a girl would just get in the way.

"Lame." AJ said, shaking his head.

Brian and Kevin played catch until the girls got there, and he dropped the ball when he saw Leighanne Wallace. She was blonde and fair, long hair down past her shoulders. Kevin smiled as he watched his cousin walk over. Nick watched, feeling a little bit jealous and then shaking it away.

He doesn't belong to you. He's just your friend.

The voice in his head came and went.

Nick knew that things were about to change, and he had a feeling that it was not going to be good.

As the months passed, Brian and Leighanne started to get more serious. Nick went back to Mandy and gave her a second chance just because Brian had suggested that he should. Nick wasn't ready to settle down but Brian seemed like he was more than anything...he and Leighanne were attached at the hip. Late night phone calls were a common thing. Nick hated when they happened, as he and Brian usually shared a room. Gone were the days of ordering pizza and playing video games until the sun came up...Nick was often left alone. He started to gain weight and stop caring about himself. Everyone noticed his attitude changing. It got worse as time went on and Brian drifted away. He was angrier and kept to himself.

The tour was going on a second leg overseas and as they arrived at the hotel, they got their room arrangements.

"Nick, you'll be with AJ."

"Why?"

"Because he's bringing his girlfriend."

The word "girlfriend" sounded almost foreign to Nick now, especially after his relationship with Mandy ended....and he was still coming to terms with his sexuality. Things were not going well for him but he noticed over time that Brian was changing.

Nick honestly didn't care, but the difference surprised him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Brian and Leighanne, his hand on her waist as they laughed. They looked so happy and it only made Nick feel worse.

"Are you okay?" Kevin asked. Nick was struggling with a bag and had thrown it to the ground. It popped open and clothes fell out...Nick yelled in frustration.

"This suitcase is a piece of shit. I got it." he snapped. Kevin jumped at the tone of his voice. Nick had never spoken to him like that. Nick continued to struggle with his luggage, having trouble with lifting it.