Two Worlds Collided (On Going)

chapter 4; therapy

Samantha;

Thursdays. They were my most hated days. I hated the fact that some random person thought they could understand me just because a piece of paper said so.

"Do I really have to go?" I said giving my mum my best puppy dog eyes

"Yes Sam, you do. Now, leave before you get late".

Well way to dampen my mood mum.

'you know sometimes I feel like she just does all these stuff  to get us out of the house'  Benard said

"Yeah right, you still think you are real" I said rolling my eye balls as I continued moving down the street well, not before the woman beside me gave me the eyes.

Oops must have said that out loud.

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"So Samantha, any breakdown this week?" We did this Everytime. It was always the same, it gets tiring after sometime.

"Only once" I said in a monotonous voice.

After a full minute of not saying anything i let out a deep sigh. I knew the drill, I tell her what caused the breakdown and then she tells me to ignore the voices because  it's not real. Then, she would give me a few tips on how to cope with the voices.

But sometimes, it was pretty difficult to do that, especially when you feel like the voices knew you so well.vwhuch they did as they were technically a part of me.

Finally getting the courage, i explained how and why I broke down. and today she did  and said something different it was way out if the routine.

"Don't you think that the dark voice in your head comes from anxiety?" She asked as she scribbled a note

Anxiety??? Doesn't this woman hear a thing I say each and every time I come here?. Before I could comment the timer went off.

Finally the session was over, I thought while releasing a sigh, I could go on doing whatever I was doing with my life. Which was. Nothing.

As I stood up she also stood up and walked me to the door.

"I will see you again next week, and please come a little more Co-operative than today" she said while I walked away.

I didn't really care. It's not like she understood me, no one really did. When my mum found out that there was really no cure for schizophrenia she got me a therapist to convince me that what I saw was not real.

It was pretty difficult to do that when you can practically feel their touch and hear their voice. Hell!, I could see them for crying out loud. But no one cared. Well my dad and my brother did, but they were hardly ever around.

It wasn't always this bad though. I mean once upon a time, it was just Eliza and I Benard kind of joined the picture when puberty set in and Rebecca?, Well I guess she came around two years ago and not long after Dean was there bringing HIM along.

HIM. the thought of him alone sent chills down my spine. For one, he was not just an imagination sometimes, he was real as real could get. When he was there I felt this dark presence surrounding me. He fed me with all these dark thoughts like how much of a burden I was and a waste of space to everyone around me.

At first, It only happened when I was scared but then it grew and now I felt him when I felt intense feelings like anger,fear, or any feeling you could think of really and it sucked cause now I'm afraid to show people the real me in fear that I might break down
But I guess that's life.

"Hey honey" my dad called from the kitchen as I opened the door to the house.

"Hey dad, I didn't know you were around"I said truly happy to see him "how was work" I said as I made myself comfortable on the kitchen counter.