𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 ✔︎

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" Father,can I get some help? I—I....am  in scarcity of — mon...mon.. money " menace and hesitance gathered in my heart at the same time. I felt like burying my head under soil asking for money from him,who had dejected me already. I couldn't but do that after staying with an empty stomach for two days. The vessels were only filled with water and some rotten pieces of bread. I cared not,not at all about being hungry. I had other choices like selling the furniture of house and get money. But for how long? How long can one live without any source of income? Indeed one can, if Allah wants. Even in the worst miseries HE never forgets to usher the mamoths of blessings and 'Rizik' in His servant's plate. There's always a door open. Always. Though it was indirect,Allah did show his mercy on someone unworthy like me like He has been showing from the first.

" I told you dear, I told you."
I was not ashtonished if father had given me an earful,if he rebuked me with the most untalkable words. If he had scolded me with all his heart like always. But.....He didn't. I wondered why when I was already prepared for it.

" Husna, we had made the first mistake when we married you off to Bilal, we made the second mistake when we left you there and this will be the last mistake if I refuse to help you " I heard his tone heavier than ever,cracks of his husky glib was overwhelmed by some silent cries.
The person I had never expected to say a warm word had said the most draining words to me. My father.

I pinched my skin when a droplet of tear heaved in my eyes.

" Baba—..." I felt my grief stricken voice stuttering.

" Pack your bags. We are coming " the words ended the phone leaving me mystified.

Perhaps,I was wrong or not. But I solely believed my parents to be the last pedestal of my life. Someone whom I trusted then left the vacant place of mind. Feelings evaporated in my heart when I finally decided to leave.

Not to mention,how could I forget about mother-in-law? I was too helpless to leave an ill and innocent soul like her to rot in this house of loneliness. She must have been used to me,my presence. Even if I had left her,she had no choice to complain,no chance for holding my hands once and ask me to not leave her. She was even more stranded and disabled than I. I walked to her,feed her last time with the last amount of food left.
Making her lie on the bed,I assured all her daily necessary stuffs near the table. Five bottles of fider full of water and some milk was all I could do for her. I wondered how she would survived without me then again washed that breatheless thought away from brain to breathe normally.

As always, her lips curled in a warm smile feeling my presence. The childish happiness might have sprouted in her . Who knew how close I had gone near her heart? But I did. Unless she wouldn't have grinned every time sensing my presence in the room,she wouldn't have caressed the tattered skin of mine with her vulnerable palms. My heart was breaking into shards of glasses to believe that I had to leave her, even if for some days or not. She put her eyes straight on mine when the blueness darkened in the dimlighting rays of evening sun. Before I came,she was looking at the sky out of the window. The sky had no clouds,only the pallets of dark blue among the shades of crimson and yellowish lights. I sat beside her head,a bit upper. All I could feel was the pain of departing,a departing of a mother and her savior. Tears were strongly barricaded in my eyes,I dared not to let them fall. I gathered words in the peak of mouth but couldn't utter them. After mumbling few times,I said breathily,

" I — I am.... going to leave ".

Her expressionless face brought a curve in my eyebrows,she looked away without any reaction. Her eyes again laid frozen on the sky. Silence succumbed the blankness where only erupting volcanoes of unsaid words was etched. I kept scrutinizing her face and features for a sign,but couldn't find any. I had been in a dilemma if she hadn't understand what I said or she misunderstood what I didn't say. Willing not to sit in the vacancy anymore,I lifted my body from there,my eyes was out of her sight. A turn away was exact. When I eyed her from corner,I could see a drop of tear escaping from the hollowed eyes which were blooming with billions of unspoken sentiments.
I let not my heart cry along with hers, because I had to leave this time. I had to leave. Vertibaly.

Forgive me.

I filled the bag with few clothes,a toothbrush and some other nessecary  stuffs when my gaze fell upon the letter box, an ache took over the left side of my chest. Perhaps, rolling eyes at that usual heartache, I took it in my grip and laid my knuckles on them. That black letter,it was only left to be opened. There were other two more but I was sure,Bilal had written any memory of him with mother-in-law. I had lost the curiosity to know the memories they passed together,cause I was dying to tent a memory,a memory I could cherish for whole life,a memory to be written in the stars and count every night. But my sky was vacant in deep blue and black. No shining objects adorned their surface,decorated their royalty. Emptiness found its shelter in every place of it.

I packed it in bag too because I was not willing to let the eruptions of emotions witness my parents when I would read every letter inside the envelope,writted by Bilal. Again I heard a noise in my stomach with unbearable pain. This hunger had been eating my soul from two days. I couldn't have waited more to put a morsel of food in them. I ran to the kitchen and ushered a glass of glucose water inside it. The doorbell rang,I was sure about my parents' arrival. At least I had hoped they would not lie.

I rushed there when I heard someone hitting knuckles on the door. My heart thumped with bizarreness. As soon as I opened the door,I could see my mother. I felt the showering of peace on my heart. My dull face lightened when she engrossed me in a hug. I felt heaven to have them.

" Let's go,dear. Finally you have realized. Come with us " she muttered under her breath near my ear.

" I knew my daughter would know someday that we were your well-wishers " father spoke out of nothing.

His words somehow clicked a pain in my heart,but I had to ignore it.

" Thanks for coming " I said with teary eyes.

" We had to " they said together.

" Now eat something first " mom said while pushing me aside and entering the home. I closed the door with a suppressed and peculiar emotion of feeling someone's presence. I felt like someone was telling me to keep the door open,to let it unclosed and let him come. But I ruffled that emotion in the hurriness of situation and dapped the door soundfully.

When we were finally ready for departure,my bags were stuffed in father's hand. He left for the car before mom and me. Mom once asked me about mother-in-law,I dismissed her question catching another topic. I just made her realize that I had handled everything with the contacts of our eyes.

Rizk - are food, livelihood, subsistence, support, provision and daily bread.

A/N: okay. So, don't you want Bilal's Point of view or what? The story is very boring? Let me know your precious opinions.