𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 ✔︎

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“Usne di misaal mohobbat nibhayi kaisi jati hai,
Mai raha dooba apne hi afsos me,
Woh karti rahi intezaar bass mere ahsaas ka,
Mai raha jeeta hua bass pareshan e haal me,
Usne har zarre se batlaya mohobbat kya chiz hai,
Mai bass raha marte marte mere yaar ki yaad me ”

Written by _arshi___.

(Specially from for Bilal's feelings)

“ And you struggled it all by yourself?” I asked, an unwanted teardrop deserting from my eye corner.

Husna was telling me all the passed days when I was not there,with her,with Ma.

The endeavors she had beared in her weak shoulder,the strains she embraced in her life ,the despondency of lonesomeness,the uncountable miseries of nursing and lastly the fragility she held by a thin finger on the deadly edge of her heart.

These all could smash my blood against my heart so hard that it would burst. I couldn't count the guilt drops falling over my chest one after one as she kept narrating her hard time in this house. If I hadn't held her hands in mine,I could have lost my strength to even face the quandary.

Rethinking all these,she just kept caressing Ma's hand warmly and massaged them with affection in her eyes. Her all attention was towards Ma,as if I had never existed. She also didn't look into my deep down eyes which only held a thousands sorry. Perhaps,she knew,if she did,I would have been proved the worst person of this world.

When a good trance of time passed,maybe she was weaving her thoughts into words that she uttered at last,was the answer to my previous question,

“ No, with Ma”

I again began the game of staring at her orbs, the mixture of  brown and burgundy with crystals sparkling there.

“ Why did you do this,all along? All this while? You could have left,you could have quited,then why did you—” I kept muttering to her, with some unusualness in my features, that might have surprised her.

She, too, creased her eyebrows in unison and finally gazed at my face with disbelief.

“ You, for you”

I got lost in the answer,to accept those words were not easy for me. They were perpetual yet,so heavy to handle. The next moment she wiped the corners of Ma's mouth skillfully. I envied that I couldn't do the same work with so much perfection. The tables were turning in my head,I thought I was irreplaceable in loving my mother. I was wrong,my wife treated her more than anyone else I know in this world.

The fear that had haunted me for years was grown because of the rusty and ill behavior of Farah sister-in-law.
They made me believe, a daughter-in-law could not love her husband's mother as like as she could to her own mother. I naively admitted,maybe I would have done the same as Farah sister-in-law did to her mother-in-law. It made me feel low as a human,it made my heart weak to raise a hand for helpless people. Because that's what I was taught!

Thankfully, I had hit realization, I couldn't be the same ignorant son Bilal Brother was. I resisted being selfish. That is a thing I had admired of myself. The only thing that made me well enough with dignity.

But that day, I felt I was shameless,Husna was dignitiful. Husna had snatched my place in front of eyes and I was happy with it. I could see myself in her shoes. That worthed my eyes to moisture. She faced all the storms by herself for me.
That was the world anyone had ever did to me.

I had no words to put in front of her,I engrossed her in a tight hug,her head to my chest. Gently,I left the intensity of my grip and she encircled my arm when I felt all the agonies washing away like raindrops wash away dirts from this earth. I recalled the first time,I saw her. A childlike person she was,then. Never had I known,Allah would gift me such angelic gift.

“ I love you,Husna. For being yourself,for whatever you have done and for the heart you have” I confessed,as my words came as a whisper,the breaths brushed her hair strands. She loosened her hug,departed herself from it the next moment and the teary eyes gazed upon me.

“ I love you for the sake of Allah,for the sake of Ma and for being my soulmate ” she said,so innocently with eyes closed, blinking mildly.

We both travelled our eyes at Ma, whose eyes hold genuine gratification. They bloomed like sunshines on sunflowers. Never had I seen such beautiful view of my own mother. Maybe the past few years never let her be happy by heart.

The diseases kept her glib as well as her happiness mute. She never had the chance to smile with content.But that day seeing us,it seemed she had felt all the pleasure of her life at one moment. The moment of seeing her son and her beloved daughter amalgate in togetherness, sharing love. Ma's happiness could be displayed in her pretty smile. We neared her as she held our hands in union. Husna's tears were still pouring with intervals,like mild drizzling in winters. They were like dewdrops on green leaves, perfectly circled and crystal.

I didn't took the step to wipe them. Because they were tears of glee.

That was the day I never expected to come, I never visioned. Allah,the Almighty planned it so flawlessly,like  He manages the clock of destiny. I wished that moment never ended when I could be a part of a troupe which could be called a family.