chapter 14 : eloise's worst nightmare

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Eloise had never felt this completely petrified in her life before.

She was sitting anxiously in the carriage, as it made its way to the market, where Eloise was hoping to retrieve the letter back.

Her lady's maid, Mrs. Wilson, who sat across from her, often glanced at Eloise wondering why the young girl seemed so skittish as she continuously fidgeted in her seat.

Well unbeknownst to Mrs. Wilson and to everyone else in the ton, Eloise was feeling completely miserable as her worst nightmare was finally coming true.

When she woke up up this morning, she was greeted with the most distressing news that the letters she and Penelope had written were accidently sent out.

Of course, Colin finding out that Penelope fancied him wouldn't be the greatest thing in the world, but that revelation could never compare to Eloise's.

Being a girl who didn't want to pursue the traditional ideals of marriage and who always spoke her mind, Eloise was already on the receiving end of getting repeatedly scolded so what were they going to do if they knew she had feelings for another girl?

Eloise shuddered in her seat, not even wanting to think about the horrific consequences.

This nightmare was something Eloise didn't know she was even possible of having until a few weeks ago.

For her, this newfound feeling of emotion wasn't something she was particularly shocked about having, but she wondered why she was only discovering about it now.

Was she always like this or was it something that was only now being brought out in her?

Was there even a word for what Eloise felt?

Her thoughts were disrupted when the carriage came to a sudden halt.

The loud voices and the sweet smell of fresh food had suggested that they had reached the market.

Eloise pushed the door open and started breaking out in a run.

"Eloise!" she heard Mrs. Wilson call out, but she didn't pay any mind.

She had to find that letter.

The thought of anyone reading it was utterly destroying Eloise.

The entire morning, she thought hard and long about someone finding the letters and she ran the possible scenarios in her head, but there was one person who Eloise couldn't even bear to think about reading the letter.

Mabel

Eloise's mind felt different when she thought about Mabel.

The good kind of different though, a kind that made things make sense.

For the first time in her life, Eloise didn't feel like shouting just to be heard.

For the first time, the parts of her identity that she always believed were never going to fit in, slowly began to feel right.

Eloise finally had something to look forward to.

Dressing up and going to parties didn't even sound so bad anymore if it meant she was able to see Mabel.

But what if she doesn't feel the same way?
that thought overwhelmed Eloise.

What if Mabel didn't reciprocate her feelings?

What if Eloise misread all the signs?

What if Mabel laughed at her, or worse, got angry?

What if Mabel never wanted to talk to her again?

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