WHEN WE WERE YOUNG : marauders era

30. can i tell her?

NORMAL POV

"Mind if I join you?" Remus asked as he made his way towards Mareena with a book. It had been a couple of days since the Quidditch match now and detention that evening was not excused. They had to clean the Trophy Room the entire evening and James and Sirius couldn't stop whining about having to clean the trophies without magic. Mareena,Remus, Juliana and Peter all turned a deaf ear on whatever they had to say in order to finish up quickly.

It was now after dinner and at the moment, James, Sirius and Peter were in detention for hexing a Hufflepuff boy earlier in the morning while Juliana was studying with Lily and the others in the library.

"Of course not," Mareena replied with a smile, moving over to make space on the long armchair. "What are you reading?"she asked, looking curiously at the book in Remus' hand.

"Alice in Wonderland," Remus replied. "Have you read it?"

"No..is it interesting?" Mareena asked, her eyes lighting up as it often did whenever she talked about books.

It made Remus smile as he said, "Yup. It's one of my favourites. I can lend it to you if you want. I don't lend my books to just anyone so consider yourself special," he added with a mischievous smirk.

"Yes, yes. Mr. Lupin," she replied, rolling her eyes, a smile playing at her lips. "Thanks."

"No problem," he said with a shrug. "What are you reading, Miss Vasilios?" Remus teased with a nudge to annoy Mareena.

"Just a book on werewolves,"she answered with a smile. "I borrowed it from the library."

The smile faded from Remus' face as he tried to grasp what Mareena had just said.

'Werewolves??' He thought to himself. 'Why is she reading about that??! They're not part of this year's lessons as far as I know...'

"Oh...Okay.. Great," he managed with a smile after what seemed like forever, and quickly returned his attention to his book. But his mind was as far away from Wonderland as it could get.

"Are you okay, Remus?" Mareena asked, looking at him with her eyebrows furrowed with concern. "You look very pale."

"N-no. I'm fine. Thanks," Remus replied quickly without meeting her eyes as he tried to calm himself down.

"Are you sure?" he heard Mareena ask again, raising her eyebrow at him suspiciously.

"Yeah. Totally."

"Okay..." she replied, looking closely at her friend's pale, ashen face. "Tell me if you need anything."

"I will. Thanks."

"By the way, what's your opinion on werewolves?" Remus asked after a few minutes, as casually as he could.

Mareena looked up from her book and hesitated for a while.

'Remus would understand, won't he..?' she asked herself, looking into the brown eyes in front of her that were always filled with kindness.

'Yeah. I'm sure he would,' She told herself firmly and took a deep breath in order to begin her 'Werewolf Speech,' for which she was famous among her family members.

Remus, meanwhile, held his breath, internally cursing himself for asking the question, his heart beating a mile a second, afraid of hearing something awful. However, he knew Mareena did not have a cruel heart and so he told himself that even if she did say something bad, it wouldn't be as bad as everyone else's opinion. 'Yeah. Big comfort.'

"Werewolves are the most misunderstood people in the world," Mareena began, and Remus noticed a different kind of energy in her eyes now; a fierce, passionate aura around her. He felt his heart beat faster; this time not with fear but with excitement. 'Does she mean...'

"They don't deserve what they go through every month," Mareena went on. "No one does. And I just can't understand why people are so cruel towards them. They deserve so much better."

Remus stared at her with his mouth slightly open, utterly shocked, as Mareena went on and on about werewolves. He had never heard her talk so much before.

".....and I simply cannot imagine the pain they go through every month. It must be horrible!" Mareena was saying, shaking her head.

"Y-yeah...Absolutely," Remus finally managed to say. He could not believe it.

'Ree doesn't think werewolves are monsters.. Does that mean I can tell her?

NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING REMUS LUPIN??! It doesn't matter what she thinks. Once she finds out, she'll never look at me the same way again. And what's the point of telling her anyway?? It won't matter. It wouldn't take away the pain I go through, would it?'

Right?