martyrs & maniacs. | tbz jujae

12.

The tension in the air is unbearable. Juyeon can feel Eunseo's piercing gaze even when he has his head down, focusing solely on his food. If looks can kill, he'd probably be dead by now.

His friend starts to clap in a pace that is definitely mocking Juyeon. "And here I thought you're already letting go of everything that hurt you. Congratulations!"

Juyeon stops himself from making eye contact with the girl. He knows that the flame threatening to burst inside her will ignite even more if he looks at her. To say that Eunseo is disappointed is an understatement. She is fuming, angry, dismayed. It is very obvious with the way she looks at Juyeon ever since they crossed paths by the school entrance.

It's so strong and evident that it makes him wonder if Eunseo knows more than what Juyeon expects her to know.

To say that the atmosphere didn't change the moment Juyeon went to school the next day is definitely a lie. A lot has changed, both for the better and the worse. Well, mostly for the worse, but at least there is only a week left before the semester ends and Juyeon can take a week-long break away from the judging glares.

It's hard to describe what Juyeon is currently feeling. He's torn. He feels like what he did was wrong, taking into consideration the fact that he possibly ruined his friendship by rejecting Hyunjae and accepting Chanhee back in the same night. Juyeon knows that Hyunjae didn't intend to fall in love with him and risk being hurt, Juyeon doesn't blame him for that. After all, love comes at unexpected times and unexpected moments. If anything, it was Juyeon who is to blame. He should've done something, anything, to refrain all these events from happening.

He hasn't seen Hyunjae yet, thank God. Juyeon doesn't know how he will face the older, especially with Chanhee clinging onto his arm, unwilling to let go unless it's already time for class. But there's only a few minutes before lunch — the three of them are bound to meet any time soon.

Their relationship is back to the very start, when they first started dating each other after weeks of pining. Juyeon will be lying if he says that he didn't feel relieved. Returning to the start means that there is no more barrier in their relationship, no feeling of distrust, no negative what if's. Most importantly, there are and will be no more date ghostings and late text replies.

Juyeon feels like what he did was wrong, but at the same time it feels so damn right. Chanhee is back in his arms now, happy and affectionate and honest.

Like what Juyeon always wanted.

Younghoon, who has been quiet ever since Juyeon arrived at their usual hang out spot, finally speaks. "Don't do this right now. Juyeon is already having a hard time."

"Are you kidding me?" The girl retorts. "So we are just going to ignore the fact that Hyunjae is also having a hard time?"

"Son Juyeon."

"Don't call me by my full name, Younghoon."

"Then calm down."

Eunseo scoffs. She turns to Juyeon. "Hyunjae's busy, if you're wondering why the chair beside you is empty. He'll probably be busy for the next few days, maybe even for the next few weeks. You know what I mean, right?"

Of course. Hyunjae is avoiding him now.

"I didn't want this to happen, you know?"

"I know. You're too kind to intentionally hurt someone's feelings. And that's good, but the problem is," Juyeon can see Younghoon squirming in his seat, trying his best to make the girl beside him shut up. But Eunseo wouldn't budge. Instead, she just shoved the dark-haired boy away from him. "You're so stupid. You're a fucking idiot."

She means it. Eunseo said the words with so much sincerity and it definitely hurts, but Juyeon didn't try to defend himself nor retaliate. After all, he deserves the words being thrown at him. He is stupid for doing something that he knew will hurt someone.

"Alright, that's enough." Younghoon intervenes. "Let's just eat."

Juyeon is aware that Younghoon is also disappointed with him, even if he tries not to make it obvious. Still, Juyeon is thankful that the older boy chose to stay grounded and not accompany Eunseo in reminding him of the idiotic mistake he made.

Eunseo scoffs. "Whatever. I'm going to Jaehyun." She gathers her things and stands up, but before she can even fully leave the table Chanhee approaches them with a sweet smile on his face. Juyeon can practically see her aura get even darker.

"Hey, Sonju!" Chanhee greets with the nickname he gave her. Eunseo only gives a smile — Juyeon thinks it's fake — then leaves.

Chanhee takes a seat in Hyunjae's usual chair, planting a kiss on his boyfriend's lips. "Is she having a bad day?"

"Don't mind her." Younghoon answers. "It's nice to have you back, Hee. Haven't seen you for weeks."

"I got really busy. I had to juggle a lot of things and take a break because of what happened to me and Juyeon." The oldest of the three raises a brow. Chanhee holds Juyeon's hand and his smile widens even more. "But I know what to do now. Ju, I fixed my entire schedule for you! I made sure that I am free whenever you are free. Isn't that what you always wanted?"

"You didn't have to do that." Juyeon tightens his grip on the younger's hand.

"But I want to." Chanhee replies, eyes sparkling. "Because I love you."