Random Smut Oneshots 😩😩😩

dr.phil x his expired psychology license

1 person has said they enjoy this book so this book will continue.

I'm thinking about writing a real book sometime in ze future, but idk fam.

anyways-

HERE GO 🤲🏻

MOR CHPTRZ

YEP.

-----------------------
daddy Phil McGraw's pov.
-----------------------

2006.

that was the year.

the year I voluntarily surrendered my psychology license. (if you cant tell, extensive research has gone into this chapter.)

and i-

I feel alone without it.

yeah ofc I still offer psychology practices on television that is technically illegal and we will ignore that, but I still feel- empty

I'm 70 years old.

I need to do something with my life.

more like- I need to do something- or someone- in general.

I'm a horny son-of-a-bitch. what can I say? 🤷‍♀️

and its been 20 years since I've fucked my wife. I have erectile dysfunction and she's a sexy milf but she doesn't wanna have seggsy time.

so you gotta expect a man to get a tad bit... excited- at times.

so that's where we are now: me, at home in my office, with a clouded state of mind.

my limp peen is contrary to my wild thoughts. 😜

but NO- I had work to do.

plus I had a golf meetup later with my friends, meaning I had to get all my office work done now.

we're all gonna wear out Trump hats and hit some balls in some holes for 5 hours 💕🥰(ew gross.)

#soexcitedlmao🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
#trump2024
#texanpride
#theboyzzz🇺🇲🏈🏌️‍♂️

buttttttttttttt-

maybe a few minutes could be spared to make time to deal with my- uh- situation 🤷‍♀️

but I had nothing to use :(

so, in despair and horniness, I was looking.

looking for ANYTHING.

UNTILLLLLLLL-

I look at the wall and feel my khakis tighten.

there, mounted upon the wall in a dollar- tree picture frame was my expired psychology degree from 2006.

I licked my lips in desperation.

until I realized-

WAIT.

MY ERICTILE DYSFUNCTION.

CURED.

MY DICK ISNT FLACID ANYMORE.

WOWZA.

anyways-

I took my crusty dusty musty CHODE out of my pants and shit stained underwear and started stroking my length.

all 2.739" of it 🍤

I threw my head back in my office chair, letting out strings of moans.

I couldn't keep quiet.

I just can't 😩

looking at my psychology license makes me act up 🥴

as I pumped my pp until I was boutta bust, I had an idea.

I quickly jumped up out of my seat and grabbed the piece of paper from the frame.

it so seggsy ah ha 😩

I then crumpled the paper until it was shaped like a dick, and shoved it up my tight, dusty, shitty asshole.

it felt so good 😩

i started thrusting it in and out, starting out slow and slowly gaining speed.

it felt so good.

I moaned super loudly 😩

until I felt it hit my g spot-(fun fact: guy's g-spot is in their asshole and apparently they can get hard while pooping 😀) (edit: GUYS I KNOW WHAT I PROSTATE IS I JUST DIDNT KNOW WHAT IT WQS CALLED OK?)

then I came on the spot.

a bunch of white, creamy, sticky liquid came shooting out my schlong.

it felt so good.

as I took the paper out me ass, it was halfway disintegrated and my bussy was filled with paper cuts.

"yeehaw" I said, cuz I'm from Texas.

------------------------------------------

yeah.

wtf.

uh- yeah.

no thought.

at all.

hope u enjoyed lol.

before this ends- tell me ur favorite oneshot so far.

comment

right here.

please.

anyways-

peace ✌🏼