𝑴𝒚 𝑩𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒍𝒚✔︎

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟑

B R I A N N A

Axel was beautiful. He was one of god's most beautiful creations and I almost didn't believe that someone like him, could care so much about someone like me. With his hands on my thighs, I straddled his lap, admiring him.

I believe that we could spend the whole day like this. Tangled in the bed sheets with nothing but each other. My hands tangled themselves in his hair, soft and curly hair that I wanted to care for just as he did for me. Axel's fingers traced the stretch marks on my thighs like they were one of my best features and not one of my worst insecurities.

I knew that wanting to be with him like this was going to be a journey. I knew that I would have to fight for this feeling but it was worth it. He was worth all of it.

"Axel?" He hummed. His eyes were closed like he had been dreaming. Axel peered at me through one of his eyes, looking at me as if I had rudely interrupted.

I ran my hands over his scar. The one that ran from his eyebrow to his cheek, crossing his bright blue eyes. "How did you get this scar?" I asked. I caressed his cheeks so he knew that I would never judge him. I would stay and I would listen. I was also fine if he didn't want to talk about it, I would respect that.

He shook his head. "An accident when I was younger. I was being stupid."

I had a feeling that me and Axel had a different understanding of the word accident but I didn't push him on it. I only hoped that one day he'd feel comfortable enough to tell me the truth. "If we're asking secrets of each other," He began with a smirk but then his face grew serious. "Why did you do it?"

I swallowed. He didn't have to clarify for me to know what he was asking. "When I was younger," I began. "I was taking my mom's death hard. I was growing up and I didn't have a mom to teach me how. It made me angry that she was taken away from me. I had to know why they killed her. I needed to know the reason for taking away a mother so I looked more into it," I said quietly. I took a moment to continue, feeling the pain that I assumed I pushed down so long ago. He pushed a strand behind my ear.

I blew out a breath and resumed, "I tried to get my dad to help me but he thought I was crazy and began taking me to therapy and when that didn't work, he sent me to a family friend. He thought that time away from home would make me calm down. I was so close to finding her murderer. Before I left, I found a recording deep in the attic where her clothes would be. I played it but it was a voice I didn't recognize. Yet I held onto the voice. I seared it into my memory.

When my dad sent me away, that friend, Robert, ended up being one of the police officers who would bring me back whenever I was out." I explained. "It was the man who killed my mom."

I remembered it almost like it was yesterday. The memory was still so fresh in my mind, even after all these years. "I lived with him for a short amount of time. 8 months to be exact. I hated living with his family. They were horrible people but my dad wouldn't let me come back. The only reason I stayed so long was because Robert kept telling my dad that I wasn't ready," I continued. "So, one day, when they were all gone, I decided to roam through the house. I was just being nosy but I didn't expect to find a burner phone."