𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐌. | 𝐊. 𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐒𝐀

nine - loop.

warnings: profanity, mental illness, mentions of insanity, mentions of violence, unhealthy behavior. (so basically everything this book is.)

listen to song above while reading for better experience, headphones recommended.

y/n pov

That was easily one of the most terrifying nights of your life.

But then again, so was every night that you stayed here.

You spent the next thirty or forty minutes just sitting at the table in the living room, the paper and pen still right in front of you.

I want to go home.

-Is what you wanted to write.

But you knew that it was completely pointless.

There was no way in hell that he would let you go-- not after all of the effort he put into kidnapping you and keeping you here.

Sighing softly, your slightly shaky hands picked up the pen and pulled the paper towards you. 

However--under the dim lights, you could make out some words on the other side of the paper, so you turned it over to find, written in neat pen;

I could tear you apart if I wanted.

There it was again.

That reminder that at this point in time there was nothing you could do.

You knew now that the more you tried to take back control, the more you tried to leave him, the more often he'd remind you of that. He did it in the sickest way possible, the most manipulative, fucked up, and terrible way possible.

Shaking your head for a moment, you turned the paper back over again and began to write.

1.) Stop being so loud.

2.) No more aggressiveness. 

3.) Stop treating me like a child.

4.) I can take care of myself.

5.) Don't keep me cooped up in this cabin so often.

There were only five requests, and yet you still felt like you were putting yourself in danger with how direct they were.

The old you, the one who didn't take any shit, didn't tolerate anyone that even remotely annoyed you was pretty much gone at this point.

You felt helpless, as if there was nothing you could do even if you tried.

It both pissed you off and scared you.

He was completely insane.

And you just so happened to be the one he fell in love with.

With your twisted and terrible "luck", you managed to get stuck with him, thousands of miles away from anything and anyone you had ever known.

The desire he had for you combatted nothing you had ever seen.

If he was so desperate to have you, why didn't he just ask you?

Granted, you probably would've declined if he just asked out of the random, but if he made an effort to show his love for you it would be different.

You both understood and hated how his logic worked.

He knew that the chances of getting close to you in your normal mental state were low.