The Burning Barn [BxB]

Epilogue

"How would you describe how you felt when you were in the fire?" Doctor Zan asked as she looked up from her paper.

"As terrifying as it is to say, I had never felt freer... It was as if all of the pain and anger I felt toward Mr. Edwards was gone and I was finally free from my guilt..." Beau admitted.

"Losing loved ones can have tremendous effects on how we interact with the world. Have you felt any different since the incident?" She asked.

"It's weird... Not being around Lukas" Beau began. "I still feel like I'm missing a part of myself... But I've been able to maintain who I was before Lukas and I got together"

"So that was it...? After the barn, no grieving, no change, no nothing?" Doctor Zan asked. Beau nodded and the doctor's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Do you feel any resentment toward Lukas?"

"Why would I? I love him" Beau stated. It was weird to say that out loud. It was weird to be openly gay... At the mental hospital, everyone knew he was gay. For the first time ever he was out and proud... Lukas would have been proud.

"Well, I noticed you were a bit angry when you spoke of his death. Sometimes people who have lost loved ones to suicide feel a sort of resentment toward their loved ones" Doctor Zan explained.

"What's the point in holding a grudge against a dead man?" Beau asked with a sad smile. "All I can do now is live the life Lukas wanted for me"

"This is very worrying... You won't be able to process anything until you move through the grieving process. As of now, you've barely begun and are trying to ignore it" Doctor Zan sighed. "I think I might have to discuss finding a new medication to put you on"

"That's alright with me" Beau shrugged with a smile. He knew his time was almost up and he was desperate to leave. He wanted to get back to the common room and play standing man with Sage. He wanted to continue to prove to the nurses that he didn't need to be there. That he was perfectly fine and didn't need help. He had finished grieving and was ready to move to a new chapter in his life.

"It appears our time is up. We will discuss this more next time" Doctor Zan sighed. "It was really nice to see you again, Beau. You've made amazing progress opening up today" Beau nodded along although he didn't agree. Telling people about Lukas only took Lukas further away from him. He wanted Lukas to be someone that was only his. He wanted those memories for himself and hated the idea of having somebody else know so much about their relationship. Those were his memories to carry and to hold on to. Lukas was his to remember and his to know. He didn't belong to anyone else.

"Have a nice day" Beau gave her a small smile before heading outside of her office only to run into a hard chest. Beau stumbled back and glanced up to see the boy he had seen earlier at lunch. He was new to the hospital. Or if he wasn't he just hadn't met him before.

He was tall with dark olive skin. If Beau had to guess he was from the same reservation in Ohio as Sage. They had very similar facial structures and mannerisms. So he must be Shawnee. He had dark brown almond-shaped eyes and fluffy dark brown hair. His ears were decorated in piercings as well as one on his lip. He wore a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants and Beau couldn't help noticing thin white lines decorating his wrists.

He was everything Lukas wasn't. Lukas was traditional and simple, he was expressive and different. Lukas was bright and seemed to light up a room, he seemed to draw the light toward him. Even appearance wise they were complete opposites. Lukas couldn't help feeling a sudden pang on his chest and the stab of guilt in his stomach. Lukas had been dead two months and here he was checking out someone else and even comparing Lukas to him. He felt sick.

"Hey, are you alright?" He asked curiously. Beau nodded and kept the eye contact to a minimum.

"Yeah, fine"

"I'm Aiden"

"Beau"

"What are you in for?" He asked curiously. There was a sort of stillness to his voice. Calm, deep, and gentle. The kind of voice that put your mind at ease and pulled you in.

"Arson" Beau shrugged as if it meant nothing. At first, he had been terrified to tell people what he had done. But then he heard others' stories and realized he wasn't alone. That he wasn't the only one with a bad or twisted story to tell. So that put his mind at ease. It made him feel like less of a freak. "You?"

"Overdose" Aiden gave Beau a small smile. "I'll see you around?" He asked. Beau hesitated before nodding and began to make his way down the hall. The last thing he heard was Aiden's cheery voice.

"Hello, Doctor Zan. It's been a while and I didn't try to kill myself this time. Are you proud?" He asked almost too casually. Beau had grown used to this sense of humor from Sage. Heck, he even found it amusing at times. So he only smiled to himself as he listened to Doctor Zan's disappointed sighs. Something told him he'd be seeing a lot more of Aiden.