His Rival

Since The Beginning

Hey guys, Jess here! 

This chapter is 42.2 pages/14,097 words, nearly as long as 'Here's Your Reason'. Needless to say, this one's gonna throw a lot of different stuff at you. So please take breaks as needed!   

If you have any questions or comments about this chapter, let me know; I'd like to hear from you!       

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter!       

    Your arms were crossed as you trudged out of the training deck, lamenting yet another failed attempt at that lighting maneuver. You've had your heart set on figuring it out ever since Lance introduced it to you, but nothing was working. Even after pouring all of your strength into the motion, concentrating on purifying the quintessence so much that your head throbbed, no sparks had emitted from your fingertips.

    You couldn't even preform a single flick with your fingers while being encased by the quintessence! If that wasn't enough, your (d/h) hand was still shaking uncontrollably after that much focused quintessence exposure. You let out an exasperated sigh as your eyes traveled to the anomaly, viewing it with disgust before quickly reassuring yourself that it'd only last a few more minutes. After all of your countless attempts, you had the duration of this symptom down to a science. 

    It felt like you had been trying that lighting skill for ages, when it reality, it had just been three long, dreary weeks, which was still too long to be hammered by this relentless sense of failure and frustration. The same question had been burning inside your mind since day one: why? Why couldn't you do this? Why wasn't it working? What were you missing?

    You had worked so hard and tirelessly, practicing daily at this point. And yet after all that effort, there was still nothing in the end. You were just left with a hollow sensation in your chest, insecurities fighting to fill that dark, growing hole inside. Maybe you just weren't good enough to pull it off.

    What if you were too dumb to figure it out? During your time at the Garrison and beyond, you had prided yourself on your intellect. So this sense of failure sent a critical blow, striking you with the same paralyzing fears that had been your greatest struggle at the Garrison before James' shift in behavior and bullying of Keith came along.

    You had been able to subdue these worries in the beginning, but now, it had become nearly impossible. They were always there, a looming, sickening presence in the back of your mind. So, when you weren't training, you were turning towards discussing your next moves with Shiro and Lotor for a distraction.

    Speaking of which, you were actually on your way to the control room at the moment. All the other paladins had just returned to the castle after another routine checkup on Olkarion. Your team's been stationed close to that planet for at least a week now, making sure it was protected until Rhyner and Sam's brand-new defense systems were completed.

    By the time your hand returned to normal, you had arrived at your destination, taking a deep breath to ease you mind as everyone else filed in.

    "Look, it's Prince Lotor, just hanging out on the bridge" Lance remarked, narrowing his eyes as he frowned at the man in question from the doorway.

    "Guess this is a thing that's happening" Pidge noted plainly, not sharing Lance's distain but not too excited about his presence either. As their eyes bored into Lotor's head, you sighed, noticing that his gaze was slowly shifting away from them. You knew Lotor well enough at this point to sense that he was feeling uncomfortable due to their scrutinizing stares, so you decided to step in for your ally. 

    "I get it guys, but Lotor's proven himself. This is just something we'll have to get used to." He showed his gratitude with a quick nod. His face remained an emotionless slate, but that was normal for your briefings.