It's Always Been You

Celebration Part 7

The guys are performing for the group manger today. Everyone is nervous as hell. Even me and I'm not the one performing. Though I have been doing some street performing, made a few bucks even. We've been here for a couple of weeks but it still doesn't feel like home. Especially because I see less of Zach here than I did at home. I know, I know he's working but when he's not he's sucking face with Kendra and honestly it grosses me out.

Anyways I won't get to go when the guys actually perform but I'll be waiting at home by the phone for Zach to call me and let me know how it goes. The guys left a little before lunch. I had the whole house to myself. I text my parents and let them know all that's going on aside from Kendra obviously. They're super excited and want the news as soon as I get it.

I read in the living room most of the day, my phone sitting on the armrest. I'm almost finished with my book when my phone rings. I excitedly pick it up but it's not Zach calling, it's Corbyn. My excitement fades a little but not my much.

"Hey how'd it go?" I excitedly ask him.

"He excepted us! We're going to be an official band!" He yells excitedly into the phone.

"Oh my god that's amazing! We have to celebrate!"

"Oh um yeah Kendra's taking us out to dinner." He informs me. I check my watch it's almost seven now. They'll never be able to come back and get me. I put back on my smile even though no one can see me.

"That's awesome I'll see you guys after! Have fun and congrats!" I said with a little less enthusiasm I hope he didn't notice.

"Thanks Blake, we'll celebrate with you too." He promises and hangs up. I bite my lip as my eyes grow wet. It's not about me it's about them. But I realize there's no one around anyways. I let the tears roll down my face and drop onto my shirt. It leaves dark gray spots but I don't care. My best friend is experiencing the most important moment of his life and I can't be there. We've always been there and he didn't even call me. Maybe there's a good explanation, maybe his phone died or? I stop thinking about it. I can't analyze it too much. I make myself a sandwich and walk out to the pool. I dip my feet in and hold out my sandwich in an unenthusiastic toast, "congrats guys." I take a bite.

It's almost ten when everyone gets back. I hear shouting from my spot on the pools edge. I was going to come inside until I heard Zach announce, "we're going to bed." I look back and he has his arm draped around Kendra and they go towards the hallway. The burning in my chest burns like someone just stoked it. I know what the feeling is. Jealously. I feel another tear slip down my cheek. All of the light inside go out. I let more tears fall into the water. I find the little ripples comforting but it doesn't do much.

I hear the sliding doors open and close. I turn around and see Corbyn. I quickly wipe the tears off my face. I look down at my hand and realize there's smeared mascara on my hands. I don't want to imagine what my face looks like. "Blake, are you okay?" He asks as he sits down next to me. I try my best to keep my face hidden away from him.

"What yeah I'm fine, just super happy for you guys." He grabs my chin and turns it towards him so the outdoor light is shining on my face.

"Oh Blake, don't pretend please what's wrong?" He dips his thumb into the pool water and uses it to wipe away the smudges of makeup on my face.

"Tonight is not about me, I'm just a little sad I didn't get to celebrate with you guys." I shrug.

"Well then, let's fix that. Be right back." He heads back inside. Just when I thought he wasn't going to return I hear the door open and close again. I look back and see his hands and arms are full of bottles.

"Corbyn! I'm not old enough to drink!" I look around thinking someone's going to catch us.

"Neither am I and I won't tell if you don't." He smirks and sets the bottles down on the side of the pool.

"Deal." I grab a bottle and twist off the cap. He does the same with another bottle. "to your success."

"And yours to come." We clink bottles and each take a swig. The liquid tastes almost as bad as it smells but I forget the taste after a couple of bottles. I forget everything, Zach and Kendra, the jealously all of it after a couple more bottles. Corbyn and I are laughing at nothing at all and it's the best I've ever felt.

Corbyn stopped laughing after a moment. "What?" I giggle.

His face is serious and I try to be serious too. "You like Zach don't you?"

"Zach? Pft he's got little miss perfect." I take another swig of my beer.

"So? You can like someone even if their heart belongs to someone else." He states. I look at him and he's still dead serious.

"I guess, but Zach and I have been friends forever. We can't like each other."

"Why not?" He asks and takes a drink as well.

"I don't know it's just an unspoken rule. Plus even if I liked him he'd never feel the same." I sigh.

"You never know, some people might just surprise you." He winks.

"Wow this band is just full of therapists. I need to start paying for my sessions." We laugh.

"But on a serious note Blake. You just need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel, if you're true friends it won't change anything."

"I guess you're right. I'll talk to him tomorrow." But Corbyn doesn't understand I don't like Zach. I literally can't can I?