when loves around

our first kiss?

When Zayn leaned in for a kiss, I hesitated, but then I got closer to him and he put his hand gently on my hip. I looked him in the eyes and the next thing I felt were his warm lips on mine. That was my first kiss and it was magic.
As our heads move apart, he looked at me and said with his morning voice:
"Good Morning."
I grinned and he ran his hand through my hair.
„ I've wanted to do that all along."-
„What?"-
„Kiss you."-
We were silent for a moment, but he broke the silence again:
„I think I have had feelings for you the whole time, but I never dared to tell you in your face."
I didn't know what to say, so I just looked at him, but I think he was waiting for an answer.
My mind was mixed up. I didn't know what to say, because no one had ever said anything like this to me before. I was numb. My hands were shaking. Then he said a little disappointed:
"Are you ok?Do you need something?"
I looked at him and said:
"Zayn, I don't know how I feel about you. I...I need to think about it."-
"Hey, everything is fine, you don't need to cry. I'll give you so much time you need."
I didn't even notice, that tears were steaming down my cheeks.
I mouthed:"Thank you."
Then he asked me if I wanted to cuddle again and of course i nodded. I felt so bad, but what should I have done? I would never have had the heart to lie to Zayn.
About two hours later, Zayn had to leave and I promised him to think about us.
"Take your time, little one. I will wait for you."

When our front door closed, I ran up to my room and started crying again. My brother Max heard me and knocked at my door:
"Amy, what's going on? Can I come in?"-
"Yes, come in."
When he opened the door and saw that I was crying, he immediately jumped on my bed and hugged me tight. I have never been so grateful to have a big brother.
"Tell me what happened. You know you can tell me anything."
He wiped away my tears and I started telling him the story.
"And I just don't know how I feel about him, about us. I, I mean, I have always thought he was great, but I just don't know if it's more than
"I understand you and I know it sounds cringe , but you have to listen and follow your heart. Think of all the moments and memories with him. Maybe you realize it then. I think I'll leave you alone."
I gave him a little hug and started thinking.

I thought about our first encounter and our first talk, it feels like it's been ages.
I thought about our laughs, about our deep talks, about our sad, happy and adventurous moments and lastly I thought about him. Only him. I couldn't get him out of my mind.
I looked up at my phone and my background was Zayn, in my gallery was Zayn, on my Instagram Account was Zayn, Zayn everywhere, no matter where I looked.
It's hard to free your mind and think about topics like this. He probably had all of his courage to tell me he was in love with me. And I can't even sort my mind. I have been in my room for a couple of hours and couldn't think of anything else but him. Until I realized that we had school again tomorrow and that I had to face Zayn there. What should I do? Should I act normally? Should I talk to him? Should I stay home?

My thoughts were interrupted with a familiar melody. My cell phone rings. It's Zayn. Why is he calling me at this time? It's already 11pm. Is he mad at me? I was completely overwhelmed with this call, so I refused him, which I never did otherwise.
I felt so bad, but I couldn't talk to him right now. I decided to go to bed, but I couldn't sleep. So I just stayed up all night and thought about him. I really miss him.

When my mother wanted to wake me up in the morning, I asked her
"Mom, can I stay at home? I'm not feeling well at all."-
"Sure, honey, go back to sleep."
Shortly afterwards I fell asleep, but my thoughts woke me up again. What will Zayn think of me now? Is he worried about me? Is he okay? I hope he doesn't feel so alone.
I haven't heard of him in over a day. We usually talk on the phone the whole day or spend the whole day together. Should I text him? Should I call him? Or should I just leave him alone?

After three hours of overthinking and missing his hugs, his voice and missing him all over, I decided to go to his house. I need to talk to him. Now. I need to tell him how I feel about us. I need to tell him everything. I put on my jacket and my shoes and ran down the streets. I have never ran so fast in my life before.
When I arrived at this house, I knocked at the door.
His mother opens the door and I said completely out of breath:"Hi Mrs Malik, is Zayn at home?" She nodded and I ran up to his room.
When I stood in front of his door I became very cold and I shivered. My whole life could change soon. I knocked and entered. He sat on his bed and looked at me in amazement:
"Amira?"-
"Zayn, I..."