Funny Shorts

Episode 15- Simping

Ok Sheeple.
Episode 15- Simping.

This one is a little different from my normal rants, cause.... Well, I am not upset and screamy today. I feel rather chill, actually. So. I'ma rant happily. What's the word for that.... Rant happily... simp monologue.... GUSH. I'ma gush on my crush for a little. Ha! I can be funny y'all.

Anyways.

Welcome back to my show guys, I don't know why y'all love me wasting your time screaming at you, but you do you.

Today's topic: My Girlfriend.

Here lies my mind.

Dead from the lack of variety. Literally only one topic, constantly. Bet you can't guess the topic.

Here is the predicament that I am in.

So. Her birthday was coming up, which, besides the fact that birthdays are special and all, She becomes the cutest little thing. Literally the most adorable specimen. She becomes a baby sea turtle cute and all "I'm going to squish my face and then giggle about it." And I ... I stan... for ... just ... HER. That's it. Just that.

So anyway. She comes over to hang out because guess what the cutie wanted to do for her birthday. Since she can't do a party, she wanted to come over to my house and hang out with me all day. And if that doesn't warm your blackened souls right up to lukewarm, I don't know what will.

Fun little fact... Her birthday is two days before Valentine's Day. Do you want to know what I was assigned around that time? A Love Story. What to know what I took advantage of? The Love Story. So. I got her a birthday gift and the story of my oblivious ass meeting her not oblivious ass but in cute story format. Cool right?

What was even cooler was the hug I got from giving those to her. I was tackled to the ground. But you see, I was already on the ground, fusing into the floor on my way to hell because of her cuteness, I just now was physically on the ground.

You know, she is one of the few people that I want physical contact with. She tackles me in the warmest of hugs. I swear to god this girl is Persephone. I want to kidnap the child. Become a fucking myth. Would you like a pomegranate darlin'?

She has the best sense of style I have ever encountered, she rocks all the looks. She goes from pastel softie to college nerd chill and I am soaking it up.

You know, we both have the same dark and dumb humor, and the same interests. We both are in the same fandoms, so if you go through our texts, you will just see a bunch of dumbassery and screenshots of text.

And I love it. So, so much.

We both love IT, you know, the Pennywise movie. And we dubbed ourselves Richie and Eddie. Because I am the dirty, dark humored, dumbass aka Richie. And she is the short, fiery, just as funny, will call me names, cutie aka Eddie.

Fun little thing, since we love the same things, we constantly make references about it. So when she is dressed up in a college nerd outfit, I will make a comment on how "Peter Parker" she is right now. And she will also randomly send a photo showing off the button up under a sweater with a comment about her "Peterness today".

And it makes me smile so wide.

When she came over, we were at family dinner, and my siblings literally made a comment about me smiling a lot, when I normally never smile. First of all, rude. Second of all, probably correct. It's just my girlfriend being Magical, but I can't tell the 9 year old that she still doesn't understand that short hair does not equal male. We are working on it.

I need to take a breath, wow. Ok.

Well. To continue, we always make comments about how Richie and Eddie or Reddie we are, and so I went through and took screenshots of all the text convos that were definitely the Richie-Eddie dynamic, and now I have a google album of the cutest and funniest screenshots, that is very fucking long. I love it and add to it all the time.

She also understands me. Even though she is an extrovert, she is so sensible and reasonable that we can have serious conversations inside of funny conversations and completely understand what we are talking about, and follow through with everything.

One day she randomly asked if we had ever had any arguments before, and what an argument between us would look like. And we both said that it wouldn't really be a screaming match because we are both really logical and understand the concept of respect and personal opinions. We even said that after any type of disagreement we would probably laugh at each other, then at our weird laughs, to the point that we are just laughing together and everything is chill again.

We call a lot, but we understand that we both have lives, that we both have things that we can't be distracted from, and even just the concept that we need alone time sometimes. And I think that it is beautiful.

So, In conclusion about my girlfriend. She is beautiful, an angel, sweet, caring, the perfect amount of sarcastic fiery Eddie to my Richie, Smart, dorky, understanding, logical, and did I mention that she has the same interests as me? I ... simping really hard.