See me with your heart,not with your eyes

Let the sea waves calm the storm in your heart

      Sometimes when the whole world is burning into ashes around you, you feel the calmness flood your heart and others, when everything is so serene around you you can’t seem to alleviate the pain in your heart and stop the flames that threaten to destroy you. This was one of the moments that Eda, staring into the sea couldn’t just calm the storm into her heart. This wasn’t something new; for months she would either gaze at the sea at the day or at the sky at night hoping that God would take mercy on her and bless her with her love returning safe and sound, and she would cry her eyes out while softly caressing her ring or  guitar pick that Serkan gifted her the night she felt that he had opened the doors of his heart to her and gifted her the world.
        Today she wasn’t staring at the sea waiting to give her back Serkan, she was staring at her and praying one of the waves to devour her, in order for her to disappear, in order to stop the pain that was piercing through her heart. She let the tears to fall free from her almond shaped eyes as she was gripping the magnolia that once used to be her ring and now was hanging on her chest as a necklace not because she was waiting for Serkan to be found, no. Because the man that everyone recognised as Serkan has returned safe and almost sound. No, she was not waiting for Serkan to return, she was waiting for her love to return. A little smile cracked through her face ironically because she had thought that those two faces were the same. You see, Serken as all the others believed him to be had returned, and when she first saw him standing at that door, she thought that the weight that was crashing her heart for two months was lifted, that she could finally breathe because she would be able to be his breath, only to discover that he had not only he had forgotten her but also he wasn’t willing to remember her or to try to get to know her again, to let her show him their love because he has given his heart to another woman. Selin. Her worst fear, the source of all her insecurities since day one in her relationship with Serkan. It wasn’t that she was unsure of her bond with Serkan’s heart, she was afraid of Selin’s bond to Serkan’s mind. And her instincts never proved her wrong.
         They would get married. They would be a family. And Eda would be left with nothing but memories she only remembered and a broken heart shattered into a million pieces with no way to get back to the way it was. Because ask and love was not something reversible. It changes the way you perceive things forever thanks to one person and that person is the only condition so as you to be able to see those things. Without him, all seem blurry, bleak and dark. Because when Eda promised Serkan to be his light, realised that he was the torch that lighted her path as well and without him, she seemed trapped into a dark tunnel and couldn’t seem to find her way out.So she did the only thing she knew: fight for Serkan and their love. She fighted and she fighted hard trying EVERYTHING, from showing him their pictures together and handcuffing him to her to get fake “engaged” once again with one of her best friends. But nothing seemed to be working. When she thought that Serkan finally made a step to her, the next minute he would do ten steps back to Selin and break her heart all over again.
Eda knew that love mustn’t be a drug to be addicted to it and go into such lengths in order to have it. She knew that nothing and nobody was worth her tears and make her cry as he had said to her. Nobody except him as she has given him the keys of her heart and wasn’t able to close them and keep him outside. Her pride and the protection of her heart was supposed to be her top priority and she must resist from trying to get close to Serkan and confess her love so as not to be rejected once again. That was what her mind was shouting at her when she saw or spoke to Serkan and when she challenged her to confess her undying love for him. But when she listened to her mind, when she told him that she has given up on him, that she was done loving him and that she was hating him she was knowingly stabbing herself. Because her heart had no pride and no intention to let him go. He was her light, she was the man to keep her down to earth and travel her to the stars, their stars, with just one look, one smile, one word. Because letting him go meant to lose herself with Serkan, her ONLY self right now and force her soul to wither. So what should this time listen? Was she ABLE to stand  the possible heartbreak?
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential it is invisible to the eye”, The Little Prince
So this is what I thought eda would think during this scene by the sea side and I couldn't resist the urge to write about the ongoing battle in her soul. I don't know if I should continue to write as I am not a writer nor I aspire to be one but if you like it I will try my best
P.S forgive me for any possible grammar or spelling mistakes