See me with your heart,not with your eyes

The breakdown

    This is the continuation of the previous chapter ( generally I consider those three chapters as one story).So enjoy:
     Focus, Eda. Protect your heart. She snapped out of her reverie and asked him the question that she seemed to be asking every time she saw him nowadays. "What are you doing here Serkan?"
     He was looking at her and seemed to be consuming her eyes in his. Then, with that smug smile that Eda has grown to adore but now had the desire to wipe out of his face he said while chuckling, "You seem to vent out a lot of pressure and anger for a woman so in love that will marry in a few weeks the love of her life" . Ohhh how bad did she want to smack and strangle him right now. Or kiss him and hug him. Or maybe both.
       She raised an eyebrow at him and retorted, " Can't a soon-to-be bride have stress due to the wedding preparations, especially when a robot in work seem to mess with her all day at work?" And it was true. All day now he wasn't his usual self ( his self right now), working, but he was daunting her at every opportunity neither for work related reasons as usual, nor for making clear to her his admiration for Selin but for HER feelings about Deniz, her love and her hatred about him. She was feeling that something was...off  to say the least. As if he was trying to figure something out or waiting for her to make one slip of the tongue. He was suspecting and doubting her "undoing love" for deniz, that's for sure. And she couldn't afford that. Her heart couldn't afford his underestimating and dismissive behaviour when he would learn that she still couldn't even think about anyone but him.
       She was waiting for him to stop smiling and get angry but he just chuckled and he released her from his embrace. What she would to to be in that embrace for the rest of her life. He then wandered around and turned to look at her and said, " You want a match?" with that deadly smug smiled of his.
       That was the last thing she needed right now in order for her to be able to stop thinking about him even for a second, " Ha thanks, but no thanks, yok artik" .
       " Why? Are you afraid of losing to a "robot", a "log"?" He laughed at her
       Oh, that was it, she thought and made two big strides to him and dragged him to her by his sleeveless t-shirt. Offf, his smell. "Ha!Wanna bet?" she daunted him.
        "It's on" he laughed and went to wear his gloves.
         Oh, it's sooo on Serkan Bey. She pushed her hair out of her face and stepped into the ring.
       They were circling each other for a few minutes and then she decided its time to attack, to take him by surprise. She aimed for his jaw but he beated her to it and blocked her punch with his arm as he sweep-kicked her legs from under her and she would have a painful landing if not for his hands under her head that laid her almost gently to the floor. He brought her hands above her head and keept them there disarming her and asked " Are you ready to admit that you lost? Are you ready to give up". And for a moment she get lost into his eyes and she thought that they are the only people in the world right now like that night in Antalya. That time has stopped and nothing else matters. Only them. His torso that is on top of hers, his hands under her head that is sending shivers down her spine and his lips that are just a few centimetres away. She could lift her head just a little and they could be touching just as they have been touching Selin's.... That thought sobered her up and next thing she knows, she was kicking his abdomen and got out of his hold. She climbed on the top of him as he tried to recover and she started punching yelling "Never!!! I'll never give up!!" She will never give up on him, on their love.
     He lost his balance and dragged her with him on the floor, laughing. They were laying on the floor, laughing so much that their stomach hurted. As their laughter died out, he said "That's not fair!! You didn't play by the rules!!" She pretended to take offense and retorts " Hey, I won fair and square!! Also there are no rules in war!"
     "And in love I know" he added. And just like that her smile disappeared from her lips and she got up and sat in a nearby bence paying extra attention to the water she drinks. He followed suit and sat down on the opposite bence nearby, their legs almost touching.
       "What do you want Serkan? Why are you here?" She asked, looking at him straight at his eyes because she couldn't stand him been so close and distant at the same time.
        " What do YOU want Eda? Are you happy? Do YOU want to marry Deniz?" he taunted her.
        "What do I want? REALLY? From when it matters to you MY desires, MY heart? What will those answer affect YOUR life?!You don't want to do anything with me anymore" she yelled because she was done, absolutely done. Done with getting hurt, done with putting herself in line for everyone and have almost zero support when she needed it the most. Done with been good to everyone (even Selin when she got dumped at the wedding) without expecting anything, running the company successfully because it was HIS dream and she didn't want to come and see a company in ruins but a company at his peak as he left it. And then he comes and he treats her like rubbish, like SHE, of all people, is his enemy.
      "Why do MY feelings matter to YOU? YOU were the one who said that I was just a stranger and nothing more! That the man I love doesn't exist anymore!!" She yelled as she got up and start passing around,her hands going in every direction possible and her eyes were welling up with tears.
       " YOU are the one who reminds me EVERY MINUTE that you are in love with Selin, that he is the reason that brightens your day, your beauty, your soon to be bride even as I was begging you to let me remind you our relationship. And when I am moving on, you just can't accept it! When I think that you get closer to me for a moment, the next one you are running away from me like I have the plague!" She went to him and as he was now standing  and pushed his chest, her tears run freely down her face.
     "What have I done to deserve all of this ha? You just give me mixed signals NON STOP!! I don't know to think anymore! My mind is just a huge mess, my heart is in pieces and I can't seem to breathe right now I can't-"
     Her runt didn't continue because Serkan got over the shock and took her to his embrace and holded her there as she was sobbing and screaming. His own eyes were stinging with tears because he was she a woman so strong to be collapsing in his arms and he only imagined how she was as she was waiting for him and thinking he was dead. So he was caressing her back and her hair and was rocking her body as she  was having this breakdown and muttered the only three words that were in his mind : "I am sorry" over and over again. Serkan was not a man that apologized cause he never made mistakes. Ever. But something inside him clicked and change the way he saw Eda forever. And then this horrible headache returned and an image of him talking on the phone outside Eda's house appeared. I love you. I miss you. I care for you. I am jealous of you, Eda Yildiz. And I am sorry for everything" he had said. And now, as he was crying and holding Eda who was clutching his shirt, something told him that those three words were needed to be said many, many more times.
So that is, I think the beginning of the end for Serkan's cold and distant self towards Eda. What do you think? I included much of serkan's reaction here because I thought that that wasn't the right time. She needed this time to get them all out. He must see her angst and be able to doubt Selin and then having his breakdown.