See me with your heart,not with your eyes

I silenced the world for you to speak

           It has been a week since Eda moved from the meeting office downstairs to the serkan's old office in the upper floor. Well, truth to be told, it's been a week since maybe both of them moved to this office. You see the thing is that somehow, Eda doesn't know why supposedly, Serkan constantly has a reason, work-related obviously, to be in eda's office and they work together for hours even if Eda seems to try to avoid it. But she enjoys it nonetheless. It is not that Serkan after the morning has suddenly transformed to the Serkan Eda was ready to marry to before the crash, not even Serkan the robot that met for the very first time when she handcuffed him to her in the spur of the moment. No, Selin has done a very meticulous job to poisoning his soul and existence with doubts about Eda's intentions and feelings for Serkan, she knew that that was the weakest spot and with him not remembering Eda, his difficulty achieved trust towards her was in the past.
            But Selin seemed to make a big mistake. She underestimated Eda, not only her connection with Serkan that seemed to be there even without him remembering but also her knowledge about his character before and after her entering his life. Eda maybe not have known Serkan all her life but she knew him in such a deep level that Selin would never be able to get. In a level past his memories, past to all that was erased or altered due to his accident. Eda knew his soul. His heart and its beats. She knew the walls that he has built because she has broken them in the past and she knew what was beside them cause she was the only one that dared and looked past this wall, the only one HE let fully in. Yes, both her and Selin knew how he drinks his coffee, but Eda knew what every smile, every look, every touch of his meant. And she knew about his weakest spot as well. So she turned Selin's weapon against her.
             When somebody chases you what's the most logical thing to do. Run. But Eda did the exact opposite. She stopped. She stopped everything. Every game, every effort to make Serkan remember or every move to get close to him ceased. That was the most illogical move ever. And that move disoriented Serkan and sent the world as he thought it to be crumbling.
             You see, things haven't dramatically changed as Selin thought. She was still appeasing his logic and try to adjust to it to please him and keep him close, while Eda was rocking his world and make him not just look it through his eyes based on his logic but through his heart based on his feelings. During these weeks, Eda never made a move to get back to the meeting room, never stayed longer than needed, never tried to provoke him in a personal level,she was just doing her job as she was before he came back. They always had their arguments, some may say that they didn't look as work-related arguments from the outside, but in the end they made the perfect team, as always.
         Eda sighed as she laid back in the little sofa in her garden and stared at the night sky while she absentmindedly was caressing Sirius. That was one of the days were she couldn't seem to be able to breathe, one of the days that it became too much for her, being so close to him yet keep a distance, seeing him walk around the office, work day and night like he always used to, his charisma never failing to get itself shown without him noticing. The stars in days like that seemed to be her only salvation. Ironic, isn't it. The sight that should have hurt the most was the only one that calmed the burning pain in her heart. Maybe she knew that only the stars were able to understand her. They were the only ones to have witnessed their love and its development firsthand. They were there when he hugged her for the first time outside his brother's band place. They were lighting their way in Antalya, the ones that created the perfect place for the to open up their souls. Stars knew all they secrets, all the feelings about each other cause they were the ones that both confided in. They were the proof of their love, the bridge that was bringing them closer.
        Sirius came out to the balcony and snuggled close to her but he also seemed for some reason upset and sad. So she was hugging and caressing him to try to calm both her and him down. She drew the blanket closer and lied down on the little sofa, caressing and hugging Sirius while watching the stars while really as she could she in front of her eyes was him. Only him.
        Meanwhile Serkan was thrushing around on his bed, sweat running down his face and body in thick nots. His sleep was filled with panicked faces, screams, the ground under him trebling and him falling. Because that ground wasn't really the ground but the plane he was into while returning from Italy. But the most dreading of all to him hasn't any of this. What made his heart beat a thousand times faster, his breathing shortening was one thought: I won't keep my promise to her. And even if now he didn't remember what that promise was, he knew to whom he promised. No, no this can't happen he had to get back, he had to get back to...NO!!!
         He woke up screaming, sweating, his   mind and his heart a mess that he couldn't seem to be able to deal with all those days and in his mind always the thought "I won't get back to her and keep my promise"
          His heart continued to threaten to come out of his chest and while he couldn't breathe normally and was feeling guilt eating him up alive. Cause even if he didn't remember his past with Eda, his promise, he did remember her crying back to the gym while they were boxing. He could still hear her voice yelling at him, sobbing about him and their love, how things were developed. He said he was sorry. He really was. He could say a hundred times more, a thousand times more if that meant he could take that pain of her eyes away. If that would heal her wounds that were inscribed in deep her soul.
               Eda, Eda. His hands creeped on his phone and almost on their own accord dialed her number. He couldn't think. He just...felt. And before he could even realise what he was doing, he was in the third ring. He tried to rationalize and end the call as it was 3 at night but before he could even decide he listened to Eda pick up the phone. Her voice confused and raspy echoed through the night's silence "Alo????" He wanted to speak up but suddenly it dawned to him that he didn't know what to say, he didn't even fully know why he called in the first place. He just needed to hear her voice. To feel her near him. Cause now he could feel the knot in his chest slowly become untied and he could breathe slightly better. His brain was rushing to find an excuse.
              Eda didn't even need to look at the screen to know who was in the other end of the line even if she didn't bothered to looked as she picked up due to her sleepiness. She could recognise his breathing, even if it was quick and swallow everywhere. She spent days and nights praying that she's gonna get to here this breathing again, to feel it, to feel his heart thud against her palm and her face again. A sad smile crossed her face as she thought that she must have been more precise in her wishes but if she could go back in the time she would wish exactly the same. Cause he and his wellbeing was more important. Even if that meant that she was doomed to have a bleak future without Serkan, it was enough that he was breathing,even if his breaths were tingling another woman's neck, that his heart was beating even if it  wasn't for her, that he opened his eyes in the morning even if he didn't see her first. She could take those stabs in the heart over and over, she could take his hate if it meant that he lived even if that was killing her every second of the day over and over again. Now, she could hear  the rhythm if his breathing was irregular, she could feel his heart and mind rasing even if he was far away. She thought to ask him if something happened to him but judging by the fact he was not speaking all this time and his breaths, she figured out he must have had a nightmare or a panic attack and that he just needed her there. She sensed it. Cause even if he didn't accept it, kalp unutmaz. Neither his nor hers ever did. The handcuffs that he claimed to have chained them together for life really did regardless the current situation. So she didn't even uttered his name or acknowledge him or his situation in any way, she just went inside the house, grabbed her own copy and went back to the terrace. There, while she laid with serious in her lap that briefly woke up, sensing his parents' discomfort, snuggled close to his mom and barked sympathetically to his dad. After peeking at the stars and taking a deep breath she started:
"Page 16. In your world, said the little prince, people grow five thousand roses and again they don't find what they were looking for. They don't find what can be found in a single rose, in a single sip of water."
A tear rolled down her face. Suddenly she was back to serkan's old penthouse, wiping off his sweat and taking care of a man that as she later on learned, got she because of her. She stiffled a laugh that threatened its way through her throat. She was back to love-stricken Eda that took care of her loved man that she was sure he wanted to be with another woman. See, the good thing is that all those things that occurred didn't change her. So back to the base it is, Eda.
"Page 8, she continued while having an oddly peace in her heart, I silenced the world for you to speak. How are you deaf to yourself?"
     At the other end of the line, Serkan was now leaned on his couch, one of his books in his hands not opened. No, he couldn't concentrate on anything else than her soothing voice, and the way it was running down his spine calming down every single nerve in his body, making his heart slow down from the anxiety but peaking up for entirely different reasons. He somehow knew that the pages she was reading wasn't random at all, they held a meaning, a moment that they shared in the past, a memory that he couldn't remember and at that moment he hated his very being, every single cell in his brain even though he knew it wasn't his fault. But at that very moment, he took an oath. He would remember Eda and this past year, whatever it takes. Her voice, holding the melancholy and calmness of this memory, made him want to remember every single day, every single second he shared with her. He was curious about this past year nonetheless especially regarding his work even before he came back, but he was always afraid to due to all the things Selin has told him. He was afraid to find that he did mistakes, that he let his walls down and his control slip out of his hands. But the moment he saw Eda, he knew that it was inevitable when he knew she existed, when he saw her smile even for one single time. Now, he wanted to remember every single smile that she gave him, every single look, every single touch. He wanted to remember the man that he was with her despite his apprehension for the very same man.
       When Eda stopped reading the book, both didn't want to close the phone but didn't want to speak and acknowledge the other either. Both were apprehensive to break the moment as they both knew that the moment they actually started talking, the spell will be broken, the magic of the moment will be dispersed in the night sky and the reality and its problems will come, hitting them like a bus. So they did what they always do, don't think just feel. Listening to each other's breaths, they layed down watching the stars and then turning to the side of the phone, clutching it as if they felt each other's warmth radiating through the phone.
In their minds there was just one thought:
"İyi geceler, Serkan Bolat"
"İyi geceler, Eda Yıldız"
The next morning, they both woke up with a smile that was followed by  an "Offfff, yaaaa!" when they realised that their phone's battery has died at some point in their sleep, anxious that the other must think that they closed the phone into their faces. After their breakfast, they both left to the company determined that they are both gonna act like nothing ever happened because honestly both didn't know what else to do. Eda drived there extra early in fear of meeting with serkan in the road or at the entrance of Art Life. She would stick to the plan and keep her distances from him no matter what. Not only in hopes that Serkan will gradually stop running away from her, which it was slowly happening judging by his constant attempts to spend time with her under the false facade of work, but also to protect her heart. Even if she didn't wanted to, hope has again started to creeping up her way through her heart especially after last night's events and she didn't want to be destroyed yet again by Serkan panicking and running away from her and straight to Selin as he did the last time she kissed him. The memory made her eyes tear up at the thought. Shaking her head trying to get rid of the memory, she hurriedly entered the building and went to her office to bury herself into work. She laughed a short laugh. While trying to get her mind out of a certain robot, she became one. She promised herself a coffee with Melo as soon as she navigate the mess they have been dealing with this week. Between the project regarding the airport in Cyprus, the project regarding the marina and the whole PR crisis regarding serkan's return, their break-up, their engagements with others and finally, her break-up with Deniz in which Selin only seems to be the protagonist and not trying at all to control the damage, other projects need to be prioritized, and new projects were keep coming in.
     Serkan, when he entered the company was met with the familiar commotion, employees going from one desk to another asking for data, folders being constantly redistributed in between them. Leyla came as always with her tablet in hand ready for orders.
      "Günaydin Serkan Bey"
      "Günaydin Leyla. I want to call Faruk Bey in order to work on some problems regarding his project, organise a meeting with Defne hanim regarding the marina project and Mehmet Bey for the hotel's construction"
        "They've all been already settled Serkan Bey. Eda already called Faruk Bey and resolved the matters in hand and she is to attend a meeting with Defne Hanim at 11 that asks for your presence as well and under her instructions, I have already called Mehmet Bey's assistant and I am waiting for an answer regarding our meeting request. Any other request?"
         Serkan for one more time he was left awestruck and to be honest, a little proud about Eda. Those matters surfaced today, he saw them when he was checking his emails at breakfast and she came and solved them in record time. She was obviously very hardworking and perspicacious. Her mind was working a mile a minute in a way so... Original he had never seen before. One moment she was acting like a child, completely unprofessionally and the other it was like she was been a top professional at her glory for decades now. All in one messy but perfect balance. One thing that Serkan could confess about his feelings towards Eda, was that he was admiring her, a lot. Despite the young of her age and her clear inexperience, she wasn't trying to hide behind others nor she acted like she knew everything, she took the gears of the company but she never stopped asking Engin, Piril, even him despite their constant fidgeting. It was clear that she respected and admired him as a professional and that she was more than willing to give him back a certain amount of control in the company as long as he didn't underestimated her and try to sideline her.
       Trying to sound casual and indifferent and try to hide the bag that he was holding, he asked:
       "Eda Hanim, emm, where is she?"
       "In her office Serkan Bey, do you want me to fetch her for something?"
       "No, no Leyla I'll handle it thank you"
       He entered the office and barely got off his jacket before he started pacing around trying to find an excuse to go upstairs. Eda was very good at her job and sometimes this was getting on his nerves so much! She solved all the matters that would require him to communicate with her until the meeting and it was just 8!!! He couldn't afford not to see her until 11, no, there was no such option. Oh, he hated this office upstairs with passion!!! He was just a second away of calling Leyla and instructing her to bring down the office or even better, take a sledgehammer and take it down himself!!! YES!!! But just then he noticed his sketches and a maybe not better but an idea that would suffice for now came to his mind. Well, that was close office.
         He grabbed the sketches and the bag and almost run and jumped up the stairs, barely missing Erdem on his way. Before he knocked on her door he cleared his voice and straightned his tie. He knocked and almost immediately she opened it. His heart stuck in his throat. How could so..... He couldn't even find the right word. Beautiful, breathtaking, ethereal. So Eda. She was wearing a beige suit with a slightly darker crop top and her face was glowing. He cleared his throat (again) and said:
          " Well there is an urgent matter that I would like to know your opinion on since you know we're.... partners"
          Her small smile made her way to her face and it did to him things it was possible after a small smile. He was willing to do whatever to see this smile again, and again, and again.
        " Of course, please come in, günaydin"
        " Günaydin, well there is this project, you know regarding the marina whose sketches I need you to go through and give me your view on and by the way I brought coffee, I thought we will need it, we have a long day ahead us and by the way you can inform me about the progress in Faruk Bey's project since I heard you got in touch with him today" he told with one breath in lightning speed. Smooth, Serkan. Smooth.
          Eda was feeling her heart melt at his cuteness. She was really fighting not to let that little smile grow in her face and act strictly professional.  Bir daha asla açmam kapımim she was saying over and over in her head to her heart even if she perfectly knew it was a lie. So she tried to not show she noticed his excuse or the fact that he brought coffee from their coffee place, exactly the way she drinks it or the glances that he was secretly giving her that made her cheeks blush. Or how she was affected and craved to look at him in this suit for hours.
       Serkan was having an equally difficult time to try and not be that obvious too. Her touch set them both to fire, his breathing was caught up in his throat and a sweet pain twitching his heart. He couldn't just take his eyes off her. In those little moments, in those glances, in those short laughs, he confessed that Eda was not at all what he thought. "I silenced the world for you to speak" He was more than ready to silence every single voice in this planet to listen her voice loud and clear even if he was the one that was silencing her  a while ago. I am sorry. I am sorry Eda. So so sorry.The way her eyes were looking, pure and innocent even when they were glistening with mischief, made the thought that Eda was trying to steal his company the most absurd he ever heard. That brought in his mind Selin, his ex best friend, now fiance and as he was looking at Eda he was becoming more and more sure that he wasn't ready to conquer the world for Selin. To bring the stars down to her feet as he was for Eda. And he must address it. Cause he was slowly coming to the realisation that neither he nor she deserved this.
        His thoughts were interrupted by Leyla taking down to the office urgently cause apparently what he asked was sent that it couldn't wait.  What he asked though? Leyla handed him the tablet and left the office and when he opened it he found something that confirmed his suspicions and initiated new ones.
That was the chapter. What do you think?Please don't pay attention to the grammar and spelling mistakes. I hope you enjoyed as much as I do.Stay healthy and safe. See you in the next chapter 😘
P.S.: these days have been crazy!! Kerem's birthday and all of the teasers have left me sooo excited!!! Sçk is coming back !!!!