Dearest, Darling (S.R)

Chapter Twenty

~ MADDIE ~

I willed my hands to stop shaking as I signed my name at the buildings reception. Whether Spencer could sense how nervous I was or not, he didn't say anything. He was too excited, bouncing up down, clearly eager to see his mum. Smiling politely, I handed the pen back to the receptionist before moving over to where Spencer was stood talking to one of the nurses. I slipped my hand into his, squeezing it tightly, needing him to be closer to me. I was trying my hardest to be just as excited as him but the cool walls seemed to be elevating the panic that was rising up inside of me.

"You ready?" He asked, looking down at me. I gave him a tight smile, trying to muster up all the enthusiasm I'd had 5 minutes ago but I just froze, anxiety taking over my whole body. "What? What's wrong?"

"I..." Speak, you stupid idiot. I took a deep breath. Ignoring the way the walls seemed to be closing in on me. "What if she doesn't like me?" I managed to whisper. What if she sees that I'm not good enough for you?

"What?"

"What if your mum doesn't like me?" I sighed. "Spencer, in case you haven't realised, I'm not a very nice person. I'm a manipulative bitch and every other word that comes out of my mouth is sarcastic, oh my god! Your mum is smart, it won't take her long to figure it out! She's going to hate me." I buried my face in my hands. Pull yourself together woman, you sound pathetic.

Spencer pulled my hands away from my face, laughing softly at me. "Maddie, look at me," he said quietly. "Please look at me." I lifted my head slightly, meeting his eye line as my cheeks burned. Breathe. "Madeline Eleni Parker, for someone so smart you are so stupid sometimes. I don't know how you can possibly think any of those things. Yes, you might have a foul mouth sometimes." I gave him a pointed look. "Fine, you have a foul mouth all of the time but you are so kind, Maddie. Everywhere we go, people adore you. You make friends on every case we go on, you go out of your way to be there for people you hardly know and you're always making everyone laugh. You are the most beautiful person I know, inside and out, and my mom is going to love you. And if she doesn't, who cares because I do and I'm the one who has to put up with you."

He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.

Spencer pressed his mouth to my forehead before taking my hand in his own and leading me towards his mum, not even giving me to chance to respond to the words he'd so casually thrown in there. We found Diana in one of the big arm chairs in the corner of the room, reading a book. When she noticed us walking over she looked up, smiling brightly at Spencer pulling him in for a hug, her movements so similar to Spencers that it was almost unnerving how familiar it felt to be around her.

"Mom, this is Maddie, my girlfriend," Spencer explained, gesturing towards me.

"Hello," I gave her my best smile, holding my hand up to give her a small wave.

"Maddie the doctor? Who you work with?" She replied, nervously chewing on her nails. Spencer nodded, clasping his hands together in front of him as he twiddled his thumbs. Relief swept through my body as she pulled me in for a hug. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Spencer has told me so much about you in his letters!"

"It's nice to meet you too! Spence never stops talking about you!" I said.

"Come, sit down. How long are you here for?"

"Just this afternoon, we've just finished up on a case here," Spencer explained sitting down next to me, his hand slipping back into my own, squeezing tight.

~ SPENCER ~

He loves her. He loves her. He loves her.

Maddie's laugh drifted across the room, his heart beating faster at the sound of it. He couldn't believe how much Maddie had been doubting herself earlier. In the whole year he had known her he'd never seen her confidence falter. Not once. He knew she couldn't always be as confident as she made out but she was usually better at hiding it - not that it was a bad thing, he was glad that she was letting herself open up to him more but he couldn't ignore the gnawing thought that there was something else going on that she wasn't telling him.