The 13 legged Spider and the Boy with the Chains (Kurapika x Fem Reader)

Chapter 22- A Bruised Beating Heart

"Melody tell me if I'm sounding repetitive. I'm sorry I just let this out on you all of a sudden, even if you asked." I release the breath I wasn't aware I was holding in, gasping for more right after.

Melody furrowed her eyebrows. "There's no need to apologize, it's not good keeping your emotions pent up, it leads to a world of hurt." She flashed me a look of concern, and thought for a moment. "Your heart beat makes more sense now."

Her words confused me greatly. "What do you mean by that?"

"Your heart is constantly at war with itself, like I said it's similar to the song Souvenance, and now I know why." I stayed silent, as if saying 'continue' without actually speaking. "You love him."

My heart rate accelerated, it knew who she was talking about, yet my mind couldn't seem to keep up. "I love who?" I responded, Melody closed her eyes peacefully. "Kurapika, you're in love with him, your heart is telling me. The acceleration in your heart just proved my point."

I wanted to deny it, truly I did, I wanted to deny her claims so bad, yet I couldn't. I couldn't deny them at all, because some where a long the way I did fall for him. I fell hard with nothing to catch me, leaving me terribly battered and bruised.

"Yet, the melody of guilt overwhelms you. Guilt over an event that has been mistaken as your own fault." The older woman's voice flowed gracefully through the air. "But Melody it is my fault, I'm the reason they're dead." She shook her head, and opened her eyes staring directly at me. "Maybe in a sense, but you didn't shed any blood, you weren't aware. How is someone to blame a child for an entire massacre?"

"Melody, I gave them that information, I may have not shed any blood but it was my fault that others could shed it." I protested. "But how were you to know?" She argued back, much more caring than my exasperated words that I barely got out, defending a claim that had only ever been told to me. "It's seems I probably won't be able to convince you otherwise, but I can tell you this, your guilt will only grow worse unless you do something, and I see you are at least making an effort, but in my opinion the biggest and most important step will be telling him, and leaving them."

The him and them, were clear to me, there wasn't really any point in stating the two out loud, the him being Kurapika and the them being the Spiders.

"Enough of that conversation, fill me in on some events that have taken place while I was gone." I change the topic, the grey haired woman sighed. "If you insist." She took a sip of tea, then continued speaking, a sad expression came across her face. "Many died... amongst those few were Tocino, Baise, and Dalzollene, I understand that you were close to them."

My eyes hung half closed, ever so slightly open as I shift my view away to anything but Melody. I fiddled with the pearls that still adorned my neck, the same pearls that Baise gave to me before. I had chances to take them off but never did. "I was.. I'm sad knowing that they're gone, it's partially my fault you know."

"It's okay to cry." She said, almost reassuringly. I finally looked at her. "It's okay to cry (Y/N)." She repeated herself as to stick it to my brain. "Your heart is grieving, let it be heard."

Though her words were allowing me to, I didn't falter, not right now. I couldn't just yet. I don't know why I couldn't, I just can't.

"Okay, I will later, if you say so Melody." was my response, she seemed pleased with this, it was the first time I hadn't had a rebuttal to her words. "Not the response I was hoping for, but this will do, next thing of importance, Kurapika is now the head bodyguard, I'm sure you're not opposed to this."