Kpop Sickfic/Angst

Maybe (Eric angst part1)

"Hey, hyung!" Eric's voice resonated against the walls of the living room.

Hyunjae made a non-committal hum, welcoming the youngest into the room.

Eric's smile faltered.

From five hyungs in the room, only one had acknowledged his presence and, even that acknowledgement had been vague and uninterested.

Once upon a time, all five of them would've welcomed him, all five of them would've flashed a smiled at him and invited him to do something with them...now, now it seemed like he wasn't even there.

He tried not to show his disappointment, tried not to make such a big deal out of nothing but, it was hard when those who he considered family ignored him.

It was not the first time this had happened, it had been going on for weeks now, and Eric didn't know what he had done wrong for his hyungs to suddenly treat him like this. He wanted nothing but for them to hug him and treat him just like they've been treating him for the past 4 years.

Obviously, that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

He sat on the couch, next to Jacob, expecting the boy to be the sweet, comforting presence he's always been. He wanted the older boy to wrap an arm around his shoulder, just like he always does. He wanted him to ruffle his hair and ask him how his day was because...because...he didn't even know why he wanted his hyung to do that, he just wanted it, needed it.

The arm around his shoulder never came. The "How was your day?" never reached his ears. The hand in his hair never met his head, and he was sad, just so sad because he just wanted his hyung, his brother, his family, he wanted sweet words and warm hugs, he just wanted it all back.

He wanted...he wanted to cry.

He stood up, the sudden movement making his head spin. He opened his mouth to croak an explanation for his sudden retreat, but when he noticed that none of the boys in the room had spared a glance his way, he decided against it.

They wouldn't care anyway.

He dragged his feet back to his room and dropped his body on the blue bed that the boy called his. He could hear the birds outside his window, mocking him, showing off their happiness, the happiness he didn't quite know how to reach without his hyungs there.

His eyes danced, analyzing the white roof that he had become so familiar with in the past weeks.

He knew that on the left, the little dots formed a happy face. On the right, there was a lady with an umbrella. If he moved his eyes a bit more, he could see a dog, then another happy face and, like that, his roof was filled with little figures and imaginary drawings.

The figures suddenly became blurry, leaving him with a mess of mixed faces and images and only then did he notice the tears running down his face.

His arm moved in front of his eyes as if it was trying to protect him from seeing the all-consuming sadness that overwhelmed him. His arm acted like a shield against the blurry images and harsh words, or rather, the lack of words. It was a shield against the heavy silence and the lack of warmth but, his mind wouldn't let him have it.

Soon, the fake safety that his arm provided was gone, leaving him with nothing but a dull pain in his head and an empty feeling in his chest.

He didn't stop the tears from falling even as his shield disappeared. He let them fall freely, not worried if one of his roommates entered because maybe like that, maybe and only maybe, then they would realize how much pain he was in. Maybe, just maybe, they would hug him and tell him everything would be alright.