the art of falling for you (bxb)

seventeen - rockstar

the art of being a rockstar

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I woke up to screaming.

It tore through my body like a shard of glass. The raw terror etched into the cry for help made my pulse quicken, heart thudding violently against my chest as if threatening to destroy my body. The scream came again, terrified and horrifically human. The intensity of it had me panic-stricken, locked in my own body as I tried to find the courage to pull myself up.

I turned around, watching powerlessly as Kareem lashed in the bed, sweat dripping down his forehead as his hair stuck to his skin.

But despite it all, despite the pain crashing through him, the terror in his screams, he barely moved. It scared me that his movement seemed too controlled and coordinated even as he slept. As if he never had the option of being able to move. As if being kept confined was something he was used to.

"Kaz?" I whispered into the darkness, reaching out and touching his shoulder with the intention of shaking him awake without even thinking of what occurred last time. The thought didn't cross my mind as my entire attention lay on freeing him from whatever demons were thrashing around his mind and settling there.

Before I even had the chance to react, my wrist was gripped and I was slammed back onto the bed, a forearm pressing against my throat as I struggled to breathe.

But before panic could overtake me, and before I registered the pain in my wrist, the pressure was off my neck before I even had the chance to react.

Panting as I tried to catch my breath, I pushed myself up onto my knees and prioritised Kareem. He was shaking from where he'd thrown himself down onto the floor, breaths heavy as he curled into himself, arms wrapping around his knees.

My chest felt hollow, eyes flickering with unshed tears as I took in his shaken form from head to toe. He scrambled across the floor as I sat down slowly in front of him, arms wrapping around his legs as he tried to muffle his sobs with his elbows.

"I can't-" He finally forced out, chest heaving with the force of his breath. "It was all- Everything just-"

I stayed silent, not quite gathering the courage to speak up and wanting to give him the opportunity to speak about anything he needed too without interruptions.

Suddenly, his eyes shot up to meet mine. The amount of pain entwined into those dark irises made my stomach twist up painfully. I wanted nothing more than to eradicate it all; to hold him in my arms until the pain soothed to nothing.

"I didn't- I didn't know what to do. It all happened so quick." He tore his gaze away from mine, whispering so quietly that I could barely hear him. "I- Everything happened so fast, I was so scared and they were screaming. I thought we were dead, we were supposed to be dead but I-"

He couldn't finish his sentence, doubling over and pressing his palms to the floor. Kareem's body shook as he completely broke apart in front of me.

I knew that what he experienced wouldn't have been easy. It almost went without saying. War is brutal. He left that place with more scars than were visible, that much was brutally obvious. My heart ached for him, for the boy he was before he witnessed all this hell. I can't help but think about if things had gone differently, if he would've died with Lennon. The thought made my entire body seize up in fear, because I didn't want to ever imagine my life without him in it. I don't want to imagine a life where I'd never met him. I don't want to imagine a life where Kezziah would've been left completely alone.

"Kareem." My voice was soft as I approached him slowly, not wanting to startle him. If anything, he started trembling even more as if sensing someone else's presence.