im sorry- a ghostinnit Story (On A Break For Now)

"welcome home tommy!"

  I guess I fell asleep because I felt something shake me and woke up to ghostbur smiling and telling me techno made breakfast.
"Techno can cook?"
I heard techno yell and offended 'HEY!'
I laugh and get up stretching, my black wingings stretching up brushing the ceiling. My wings were huge and I had no idea why. I didn't have wings while I was alive, so I have no idea why I do now. Maybe it was because I fell? That made sense but still not fully. I shake the thought away and climb up the ladder ghostbur following behind. I look around only techno and phil were up there.
"Where's tubbo?"
I ask confused.
"He went back to L'manburg."
I nod and techno hands me a plate. It was pork and eggs. I ate it fast, I haven't ate in a whole day. I opened chat seeing I just got a private message. It was someone called nihachu?
"Who is nihachu...?" 
I ask with a mouthful of pork. Ghostbur clapped happily.
"She is my friend! She is super kind!"
I nod and read what she sent.
"Hello tommy! By any chance are you coming back to L'manburg soon?"
I look at phil and techno. I didn't want to leave techno he was a huge comfort to me. I should try to beg tubbo to unban him. Let him maybe stay with me? I could watch him make sure his voices don't get out of control. Would techno even want to live with... me? This was a problem for later.
"Nihachu Is asking when I will head back to L'manburg..."
I looked up to Phil who looked down at me.
"When do you want to?"
Phil asked me calmly. I look down at my empty plate.
"I... I dont really want to go back... I dont know why but last time when I tried to go back there when I first died I couldn't! I was scared and I dont know why... I could even really walk through the nether I was so scared."
I looked back up to Phil, he took off his hat to run his fingers through his long blonde hair and put the hat back on.
"But do you want to go home..?"
Phil asked me as he sat down In front on me.
"I mean... yeah! I would like to remember.."
Phil gave me a confused look.
"Remember?"
I nod, "I have learned if I touch something I remember a memory and hopefully memories, it happend when we all cuddled up together last night, it brought up a memory of basically the same thing but we were younger!"
He smiles and nods.
"Is there anything that might make it easier to go home..?"
Phil asked giving me a sweet smile the type only a father can give you. I nod then point to techno then Phil.
"Me?"
Techno asks confused. I nod.
"You make things feel less dangerous and more calming, and phils my dad so of course he makes me feel comfort."
Techno nods, then sighs as he pours a glass of milk.
"Only problem with that Toms is that I'm not allowed in L'manburg. Do you remember that?"
I nod then sigh sinking down into my chair.
"I was going to see if I could beg tubbo to unban you from there... you could live with me or something or with phil..."
I sigh and look at phil.
"I will see what I can do tommy."
Phil said to me as he opened chat and stared to private message tubbo. Techno still looked at me confused and shocked, which I understand.
"Tell her you will be home today, I can sneak in if needed, im not going to leave you on your own to get home."
He says walking over and ruffling my hair. I laugh and smile as I open chat and respond. Phil walks out putting on his sandles and adjusting his outfit.
"Tubbo has agreed but he has some rules and stuff you will all need to talk about! But if techno and you agree he can stay."
He says as he walks up to me ruffling my hair. I give him a huge smile and hug him.
"Thank you dad!"
He kinda freezes up.
"You haven't called me that in a long time!"
He laughs a bit, it was a sad laugh.
"Well let's go!! I wanna go home!!"
Techno and phil laugh as we head to the door  I run outside. I kinda miss feeling cold in the snow. But now everywhere I step it now melts under me. We walked in the snow a bit until we came to my old camp. I freeze looking at the holes in the ground. I walk up to one and jump in. I Neal to the ground and touch it. And I'm brought to the memory.
I was crying and screaming at dream I was sorry. Oh yeah.. I hid stuff from him. I knew I didn't have a lot of time left so I hid stuff... he blew everything up including what ghostbur made me, my tent, everything I own... he broke the portal.. he did it because I kept thing that I cared for. He manipulated me into thinking he was the only person who cared for me.. but now I see, there are so so so many people who care, even if they didn't visit they still cared and wished I was well. The memory ends as I fall to my knees as he screams at me that I have to start from scratch.
I come out of the memory to techno shaking me telling me it's not funny. Phil was behind him calling me name.
"I had a memory sorry..."
Techno places his head on my shoulder.
"Give us a warning next time kid.."
He sighs and I heard phil sigh to. I say sorry again and nod.
"Now let's go I don't think you have many good memories here.."
I nod and get out of the hole techno following. Phil puts a hand on my shoulder as we go to the portal. I freeze up as I stare at the purple glowing portal.
"Tommy you okay?"
Phil asks, he takes his hand off my shoulder.
I smile and nod acting like I was okay. Techno saw right through my lie and grabbed my hand as we went in. We entered the hell realm and I froze once again my breathing getting fast. Techno saw and picked me up so I hid my face I the crook of my neck as he walked through the nether it was weird I felt so so very cold there but from the sweat that was forming on techno neck and face it was burning and I knew it was from the memory of before I jumped. Soon we reached the portal and techno walked through with philza.  I knew we were out when I felt a rush of air and techno putting me down.
"Thank you..."
I mumbled embarrassed at what he had to do.
"No problem."
He fixes the robe that he always wears since it was messed up from me gripping onto it. Phil walks over to me and pats me shoulder I smile up at him.  I look ahead and see a wooden path.
"Um can I go into my weird remembering stage?"
Phil laughs and nods and heads to techno who was still fixing himself up by drying his face. I walk over to the wooden path and kneel down and touch it.
Memories of me and friends running down it joking, yelling for primes, me giving the path the name of the prime path! Most of the times I was with tubbo! We seemed happy... I wish I could still feel that happiness, I regret dieing.... the memories were fast this time kinda like a review. It was fast but there was audio just the important stuff and lots of laughter that was play at normal speed over the review.
I come out of my faze and stare at the path. I felt warm inside and in the back of my head I could still hear the old me! But it wasn't like the memory it felt like I was saying to myself. I could hear myself cheering and yelling-
"THE PRIME PATHHHH BOYSSSSSSS!!"
I felt happy and sad at the same time but I chose to drop this for now. I remembered it and I cant go back so I should enjoy it again now dead. I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was phil. I smile and he guided to where I hope is my house I looked around and knew there was so much I was going to have to remember. But something caught my eye... a bench with a jukebox? I tried to remember it but couldn't, it seemed familiar but I couldn't remember why. Then that voice came back again, me yelling once again.
"THE BENCHHHH AWWWW IVE MISSED THAT THING!!! ME AND TUBB-"
It was cut off like a microphone giving out mid speech. Phil stops and I look ahead to see many people who came yesterday when I died. I gave a confused glance as they all yelled at me.

"WELCOME HOME TOMMY!!"