Comeback

28 - Time to understand

Can

It was the most beautiful awakening I have experienced in this long year, I saw my greatest wish come true, to kiss her and hold her tightly in my arms, I wish I would never let her go again.

But at a certain point she gets up, looks at me shocked because she is finally starting to realize that I am real, that I am not a vision. I pray to Allah that this does not upset her, I never wanted to hurt her before my departure or now.

My heart is torn at seeing her so upset and even more so at seeing her shake her head, what does that mean?

I have to be cautious and patient, I have to give her time to process and understand the situation, I raise my hands in surrender.

- Tamam, ok Sanem, take all the time you need to think and get dressed, I'm going to make breakfast, I'll be there whenever you want, ok?
Don't worry, I'm here, I'm beyond that door when you want to talk to me ok? -

Having said that I leave the room, close the door and lean against it to catch my breath, it can't be easy for her, after all she's been through her emotions are very fragile, I have to give her time and space.

I go to the kitchen to start preparing something to eat, Sanem has always reasoned much better on a full stomach. While I'm preparing something I dial Mihriban's number and I let her know the situation, it's better that no one comes to Sanem's cottage for that day, she will go to her if she wants to, we need to be alone to try to find a common meeting ground.

Mihriban is clearly worried about her friend but she tells me that she has faith in me, that I will know how to handle the situation as best I can.

Breakfast is ready, it seems like an eternity since I left her in her room when, finally, I hear the door open. I look up and see her standing there looking at me with her hands in her hands, clearly embarrassed.

I get up and walk over to her, taking her hand and bringing it to my lips to kiss it.
-Come and sit down, breakfast is ready-.

We sit in an awkward silence, only the sound of dishes for a while, I try to unlock the situation.

-It's really beautiful this place, it's a real paradise, your cottage is really nice -.

She looks at me intently without speaking, we continue to eat in absolute silence.

I start to feel really nervous, we look like two strangers on a first blind date when in my heart there is all the love possible for her.
I sigh heavily, drop my fork on my plate and decide to start right there, from the essentials, my love for her.

-Bak, look Sanem, anything could have happened, anger, resentment, misunderstandings, mistakes, but of one thing I am now absolutely certain, of my love for you.
There is nothing more important than you, I want you, I want you in my life and I want to be in yours if you will let me.

She looks at me for a long time, her expression serious, I don't know what to expect and how to interpret this long silence of hers, but I must be patient, I must give her time to metabolize the situation.

She gets up from the table, looks at me and in a low voice tells me: "Excuse me, I need to clear my mind, I need to move and think".

And with that she leaves the cottage in a hurry, I see her take the road that leads to the marina, I am forced to let her go, I mustn't press her, she needs time and I must give it to her, I can't do otherwise, I absolutely can't risk causing her another emotional breakdown.

I set up the kitchen and then head towards the sea, I stay at the edge of the forest without being seen, I just need to make sure she's okay. She's sitting on the pier with her feet dangling in the air, absorbed in her thoughts, looking up at the blue sky where white clouds of all shapes are chasing each other, she has always found comfort in nature, I hope that this time it will help her.

I pray that she will find the strength to face the reality in front of her and forgive me for leaving her. I hope so...