Comeback

31 - The man of my dreams

Sanem

I wake up after a few hours of sleep with a strange feeling, on the one hand I am filled with a sense of bliss because, I realize in an instant, I am in the arms of my albatross, but on the other hand what, I now realize, woke me up is that he exudes an exaggerated heat.
I realize that his breathing is labored, he has a veil of sweat that wets his forehead, I touch it and realize that it's terribly hot.

I get up definitely worried, I caress his cheek, I call him softly but he doesn't seem to hear me.

- Can? Can? Ashkım, love?

He opens his eyes at my call but his eyes are misty - Sanem? - I can't leave him on the couch, I have to take him to bed.
- Come Can, come with me, come on -
He looks at me but he doesn't react, he doesn't move, I take his hand and I realize that he is starting to shiver, he has cold shivers, I have to cover him and try to lower his fever.
With all my strength I pull him by the arms and manage to make him sit up.
- Please Can, get up, come with me, come on -

He smiles - Yes, ashkım, everything for you -

Damn, he can be tender even when he is dying, he gets up with difficulty and I put my arm on his shoulders to help him walk, it feels like hugging a radiator.

It's a struggle to get him up to the bed, as soon as he sees it he lets himself fall down so hard that I'm afraid the structure won't hold, he's so sweaty, I have to take off at least his sweaty shirt, I grab the bottom edge and start to make it slowly go up along his stomach and then his chest, I swallow with difficulty and look away.
Ah Sanem Ah!
Be good, concentrate on what has to be done, the most difficult part is to get it under the shoulder blades that seem to be nailed to the mattress, a real challenge but in the end the arms and the head remain and it's done.
How beautiful is Allah Allah! Tamam, ok don't get distracted Sanem, I take off his shoes and finally manage to cover him, in fact I add another blanket taken from the closet because he keeps shivering from the cold.

I run to the bathroom, fill a basin with water and take a towel, soak him and dab his forehead, neck, wrists.
He's glowing bloody hot, I go to the bathroom and take a tablet to bring the fever down, I come back and barely manage to pull him up to swallow it. It feels like dejavu, it vaguely seems to me that he did the same to me the night before, the night before of course, he jumped into the sea to save me, he held me to keep me warm but he clearly got so cold because of me, that's why he got sick.

I keep passing the wet towel over his skin, it's an unexpected and almost sadistic pleasure, to finally be able to touch him, caress him, it seems almost unreal.
He begins to shake his head, he says something that I can't understand, his heavy breathing makes his words unintelligible, I hear him say my name several times and when I manage to understand something I am stunned - Sanem...Sanem...forgive me...please forgive me... -
How is that possible? He asks me to forgive him? He left because of me and he's asking me to forgive him? His words leave me perplexed but right now the important thing is to help him overcome the fever, I resume wiping the rag on his neck when suddenly his eyes open again.

- Sanem, ashkim, my love- He takes me by the shoulders, pulls me towards him, in one movement he tilts me on top of him and I find myself on the other side of the bed with him completely lying on top of me, every inch of him in contact with my body.
I gasp in surprise and ...

- Sanem, ashkım, my love- He whispers, and then he kisses me like he's never kissed me before, a deep, demanding, passionate kiss of the kind we've never experienced.

His warm, massive body on top of mine, our breaths labored, I feel like I'm really dreaming this time, not even in my wildest dreams did I think I'd experience such intense sensations, I feel myself melting with desire for him.
We've never allowed ourselves to go this far before, I could only imagine how it could be but... how can I resist him? He leaves my lips to move down to my neck, oh Allah, I can't help but stroke his massive back.... oh, oh Can oh.

Then just as he's turned on, he turns off, falls back to the side almost unconscious, I'm startled by his sudden change, I get up on my elbow to check on him, he's still warm but not as warm as before. Obviously the drug is starting to take effect, phew Sanem calm down, this is not the time to think about such things, I get up to go and freshen up, I definitely need it.

I change for the night, go back to my room and look at him for a long time, he's beautiful even when he's sick, I wonder if it's more appropriate to sleep on the couch, but then I think it's better to stay close to him to check on him.

Slowly I move to the other side of the bed and sit down continuing to watch him, I remain in adoration for I don't know how long, then I lie down, my head on the pillow I continue to watch him, I would never stop.

I touch his forehead which seems to be cooler, his breathing has resumed a regular rhythm and he doesn't tremble anymore, well he's definitely better, I can finally relax, I rest my cheek on my joined hands on the pillow and continue to watch him for hours, until my eyes close alone on my dream, on the man of my dreams.